The Best Day

I had the beeeeest day today and I'm on top of the world!

Today was a prison day. I've been going typically Mondays and Thursdays to spread out my two visits a week. Prison outings typically take up most of the day and are quite the trying experience. Today I set out in good time on my 40 minute or so jaunt but realized part way that I had forgot my passport which is now a must. FML. And it's not like it's a nice, peaceful walk that you want to do over again. Picture narrow streets jam packed with people, bicycle rickshaws, taxis (all asking you whether you want one), motorbikes whizzing by and using their ear piercing horns every chance they get, hawkers and shopkeepers trying to sell you everything under the sun like tiger balm, musical instruments and pashminas,as well as the ever pleasant horking and spitting that you're hearing, seeing and trying to dodge. This all the while rocking a face mask so you aren't sucking in the pollution from all the dust and vehicle exhaust that gets trapped in streets sandwiched by buildings.

I know this probably isn't a description that will end up in some Tourism Nepal magazine as it doesn't shine a very positive light on the environment here, but unfortunately it's reality, particularly in Thamel, Kathmandu's main tourist area. Well, as they say in Nepal..ke garne (what to do?) :)

Okay that was an unnecessary tangent from my amazing day, but a necessary backdrop to my life here. As part of the walk I usually stop somewhere to pick us up a drink, snack and anything else that I might be bringing her that day (today it was Coffeemate as she's been out for quite awhile). I arrived finally about 1:00. No sooner did I get in the first line did I see my "Original Stalker," Indira, a Nepali woman who I had met the last time I was here.

Indira has a boyfriend in prison and faithfully visits him 5 days a week. She says she works but I don't know how that would be possible when so much of her time is consumed by visits. I also don't don't how she affords to buy him food and supplies all the time if she doesn't work. I suspect that her family supports both of them. Today she had eggs, bread and some vegetables for him and showed them to me proudly.

My Original Stalker very much wanted to be my friend the last time I was here and would faithfully wait for me outside the prison after she was done visiting in hopes of spending some time with me. She would also call the volunteer house incessantly. That's how she got the name "Stalker" as everyone at the house knew who she was and to tell her Ithat  wasn't home. She was difficult to avoid though as we were often at the prison at the same time. It got to be waaay too much. I did go to her house for dinner one night which actually was nice. Her parents were very sweet, the meal was great and overall it was a lovely experience. But she always wanted more and more which I couldn't help but feel was all about the prestige of having a foreign friend. You could tell she was thrilled to parade me around and show others that she had me as a friend. That turned me off as did the stalking. Once I was back in Canada she emailed me and asked for money to help get her boyfriend out of jail (not a cause I was going to support). I never heard from her after that.

So, there she was, quite surprised and thrilled to see me, her "best friend!" And I was like FML (for the second time today). As it turned out the line for security was super long so we had plennnty of time to catch up (with her poor English and my almost non-existent Nepali I might add). Right away she asked for my phone number. Thankfully my Delhi Stalker experience taught me something and I told her that I didn't have one (I know you'll be happy with that Mom). So I got the "okay you contact me by email okay?" Sure thing, Stalker I thought..aint gonna happen!

So we chatted a bit about her family, boyfriend (he's getting out in 3 months apparently, although I think I've heard that before), Teo and so on. But for the most part she talked to the other women in line; I'm pretty sure about what great friends we are. At one point she lifted her sunglasses to show me some brown spots on her cheeks which she told me was from duplicate cream.

And here I will digress...In India and Nepal (like many other developing countries I am sure) you get duplicate everything; meaning fake products. Last time I was in Nepal there had been a huge scandal as some people had died and/or gone blind from some duplicate rum that had been made and sold. Unfortunately for me, rum was all that I drank at that time (I'm now known to enjoy a little wine as well) so it was a bit touch and go for awhile with no rum to be found, until I took a chance and bought some anyway. I've bought plenty of other duplicate products I'm sure; some good, others not so much, such as duplicate sunscreen which led to a nasty sunburn and Oreos that looked the same but tasted pretty gross. The Colgate toothpaste though is the best! So you win some you lose some :) On a serious note though, Indira has been scarred from this cream, which of course is scary, so if you're ever in Nepal, stay away from Oil of Olay!

After a long wait in the hot sun during which all the Nepali women covered themselves with scarves and umbrellas to keep their skin from getting darker (which is a whole other topic) while I basked in the sun while scanning for my guard buddy who always let me through. Unfortunately for me, it must have been his day off. I was also freaking out a bit thinking that because I wouldn't get to go ahead, Indira and I would go to security together, she would see my cell phone that I would have to hand over, and my stalker dodging tactics would be exposed. See what happens when you lie!! Stress, nothing but stress! Well we eventually got herded over to security together and I skilfully concealed my cell phone without her seeing. I'm sure I'll be going to Hell for that one.

Anyway now on to the good parts...So I head over to the checkpoint where I get my visit slip stamped and am standing waiting for my turn, all the while looking longingly over to Badra Jail where I used to visit Teo. Once again, just like when I go to the Okanagan and am always scanning for the Ogopogo Sea Monster, everytime I'm at the jail I'm always scanning for Surendra, my Nepali gangster buddy. I had sent messages through a couple people to tell him I was here but so far no luck seeing him.

Today though as I was scanning I thought I saw someone who could have been him. Seconds later I see a guy with longer black hair, a white button up shirt and jeans strolling over. Bad eyes and all I could tell it was Surendra. I could see his smile from afar and then heard him say "I'm coming there for you" and there he was! The embrace was genuine and filled me with joy! I'm sure that's the first time they've seen that kind of sight on the prison grounds!

What a great reunion! As we chatted, he looked me up and down as players do, then asked about Alison, my friend/fellow volunteer who he quite liked. I teased him about the fact that he hasn't changed at all and is still a Dirty Dawg. He always had a harem of girls visiting. When I told him how I had wanted to see him but wasn't allowed, he confidently told me that there would be no problem, that he's in good with the Jailer, meaning he pays him off in order to stay in his good books and get his 'facilities' (privileges).

As we were discussing the topic of me visiting him, the nice guard who I had befriended early on came by. So Surendra asks him if I can come over and visit him for awhile and after taking a look at my visit slip, he smiles and says 'don't stay too long." Oh man was I happy!! I had been dying to go back to Teo's jail for old time's sake, to see if anyone I knew was still there, and most importantly to see Surendra, who I had had many talks with during my visits there (much to Teo's chagrin) :)

We strolled over casually; me with a huge smile and him with his confident swagger. You would never think that this was a jail apart from the uniformed police hanging around with guns. Into the visiting area we went and again I was struck by the difference between the men and women's jails. It looked even nicer than before and I felt annoyed again at the blatant discrimination. Perhaps I was seeing it in a different light this time but I took it all in; nice seating areas and tables all around in the shade, everything nicely painted, green space in the middle with prayer flags draped across, a small shrine on the right and visiting benches at the back. It was open, bright and more like a park setting than a prison. Apart from the bars at the back from where the men come out to visit, it certainly doesn't look like a prison.

As per prison hospitality Surendra insisted that I have a drink and seconds later two cold bottles of pop were delivered to us as we sat in the separate section for staff. We had a great visit and I have to admit that I can see why girls fall for him. He's really cute, with a great smile and is quite the charmer. He has this gangster way of saying "you know" that I love to imitate and which he quite enjoys. You can tell he has money as he's always nicely dressed and clearly takes pride in his appearance. Oh yah and he has tattoos all up his arms. Lord Save Me! :)

Just so you ladies don't start filling out visa applications to bring him over to your country, I should tell you that Surendra has been in prison for over 8 years on a murder charge. He is now 30, so when he was about 22 he was involved in a gang and no doubt was up to no good as part of that. He was a little more closed about that stuff :) There was a banda (strike/protest) in Kathmandu one day and apparently one particular police officer was trying to arrest him. From what I remember there had been some history between the two. Well, Surendra stabbed the police officer to death. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years (6.5 years less than what someone receives for drug trafficking by the way). He told me that he only has 11 months left of his sentence, and is clearly looking forward to his release. He has been a prison staff for some time (which I suspect came as a result of him paying people off) but as a veteran doesn't seem to have to do much. He still gets his 'facilities' and can go on day outings 1-2 days a month. His main girlfriend didn't wait for him and has since married, but as I joked with him, I'm sure he has several more.

Turns out an Israeli woman in Proscovia's jail is in love with him. She writes him letters all the time (which he said is too teenager-ish for him) and visits him every couple months as allowed. She apparently wants to marry him as well. He was very nonchalant about the whole thing and doesn't seem to care if she visits or not. He told me that he just goes along with it to make her 2 years in prison a little happier and to make her feel good. It's a soap opera even in a Nepali prison I tell ya...

 

When I asked him about his plans after release he told me (as he had before) that he hopes to come to Canada. Look out ladies!! Apparently his brother is coming to Canada as well. If that doesn't happen he wants to get his own place; but I'm not sure what he'll do work wise. I've already lectured him on that topic!! It sounds like his parents lecture him a lot about what he has done as well. But they still support him financially and will do so once he's out.

 

We talked about Teo, the shooting that happened and reminisced about old times. I was shocked that he remembered so much, like what my tattoo says of all things! He was clearly very happy to see me again and that made me happy as I felt the same. He wrote the number to the jail on my hand so we can keep in touch and after finishing the drink and saying hello to another inmate/guard that I used to know, he walked me out. After another hug, as I wasn't sure I'd see him again, I was on my way.

 

Once outside I stopped to thank the guard who had allowed the visit and just as I was saying how happy it had made me, he got called inside the office. I was thinking, oh crap, he and/or I are in trouble because I was technically only allowed to go see Proscovia (and he had allowed the visit with Surendra) Seconds later, he called me over and said that his boss wanted to meet me! So I went into the small brick office where the police sit and was introduced to the head of security for the prison! He was pretty young and humble for being the Big Kahuna and he seemed to be quite thrilled to talk to me, a mere peon. He told me about his job (and he truly is the Big Kahuna being in charge of security for all 3 jails), wanted to know about my education and what I did for work. I told him that I wanted his job..little does he know that I wasn't joking!

 

So I mention all the changes and how I can now only visit twice a week to which he says noooo problem, you don't bother with the Jailer. If you want to come more often you just call me if there's a problem (and proceeds to write out his name, title and number). My Lord, this was what I had hoped for!!!! I couldn't contain my excitement and to be honest, turned on the charm. Some may say that my friendliness has got me in some not so desirable situations i.e. stalkers, buuuut, it has also benefitted me in many ways. I knew that I needed to win people over at the prison this time and it had worked. And, I didn't have to sell my body to do it which is a plus, haha! So we sat and chatted some more, along with a few other guards, one being the male guard at Proscovia's prison who has never been very friendly, even 3 years back. So I also took the opportunity to tell my new buddy how unfriendly his staff are at the women's side (to which the unfriendly guy agreed)! Anyway, like it or not people, I did give the Big Kahuna my contact information as he is one dude that I need to stay connected to! After being invited to the Nepali New Year's Eve party at the prison the next day, I dashed out realizing that there was only an hour left before visiting hours ended. I had already been at the prison for an hour and a half and still hadn't seen Proscovia!

 

So with some skip in my step and a big smile on my face from the two amazing things that had just happened, I headed off to Proscovia's jail. I don't know why, but everyone just seemed nicer and more laid back today. Perhaps because they're used to me coming now. They barely gave my things a second glance today, including the food which for the first time I didn't have to taste for them. I'm sure Proscovia appreciated not having a bite taken out of her banana bread :)

 

I couldn't wait to share the news of my day with Proscovia, especially the part about now having open access to her. She of course was happy, but I could tell that she was already focused on the fact that I would be leaving soon. The fact that I am incredibly lucky to be able to visit her was reinforced today when she told me that a Basecamp volunteer had come but been denied a visit. The volunteer had only been able to drop off some things. So lucky..

 

We had mango juice together as we visited, but I ate my snack alone as she always wants to save hers for later when she can savour it rather than focus on our visit. I guess I can't blame her for that but it sure is not as fun to eat alone. She was having a rough day after writing to a friend about her daughter so needed some cheering up. Thankfully I had some good news to do so.

 

On my way out I told her with glee that I would be there again on Sunday for my third visit that week, taking advantage of my new privileges. I picked up my belongings from security and strolled down the dirt road out of the prison after an amazing afternoon. There was no wiping that smile off my face!

But then who did I see waiting on the road? Indira of course, who had probably waited over an hour after visiting her boyfriend. Geez Louise here we go again I thought. And so into stalker dodging mode I went..yet again..

 

She wanted to walk back to Thamel with me, then asked for bus fare when I told her I wasn't walking back (also a little fib). After that the focus was on me coming to her house on the weekend, with an invitation to stay there period, rather than a hotel. As we walked she called over to a friend clearly wanting to show me off. Then she pulled out the duplicate Oil of Olay cream to show me. Why you would want to carry something like that around in your purse I have no clue. Then she asked if I could get her some cream (the real stuff) from my country. At this point I was thinking I had to escape, and as she stopped to get some fruit, I told her I had to run and dashed off. Dodging her is going to be tricky though given that we will likely be visiting at the prison most days, and due to her insistence on waiting for me after she's done. My Delhi Stalker is looking pretttty good right now! Oh and on that note, he just sent me a Facebook request with a different name, so if anyone gets a request from Dushy (AKA Douche Bag) Pandit, stay clear!!!!