More Prison Education

Every time I go to the prison I learn more and more and I love it!

Today I walked up and saw the same huge group of people outside that I had seen last time. This time I realized that it was actually a line up that I had unknowingly bypassed last time. Oops! But with only two visits left and minimal risk of having my visiting privileges cut, in addition to the guards now knowing me, today I confidently walked past the long line up and with a "dai" (meaning brother and a sign of respect) and a gesture to the guard that I wanted to go through, I easily slipped through. I felt no guilt. I then walked past the huge line of women waiting to go through to security and with another "dai" and perhaps a little smile, slipped into that line as well. Maybe I shouldn't be advertising this, but I felt no guilt about that either :)

The stars were aligned today because I after that I ran into the guard who had arranged the first visit with Surendra. I figured there was no harm in asking so did just that, asked if I could go see him again. I had called Surendra at the jail that morning to let him know that I was coming and to watch for me because I wasn't confident they would let me go on my own. The guard told me that Surendra had already come by looking for me, then picked up his walkie talkie and within seconds Surendra was there to pick me up. As we walked away I got another "don't stay too long" from the guard which I'm pretty sure is just for show as there is never any follow up to their warnings. Well two can play that game so I said "yah sure" and we were on our way for a visit that was surely not going to be short.

Once at the private visiting area Surendra dusted off my seat for me before I sat. It is these little things that I find so interesting; meaning this cold blooded murderer's human side. He is kind, caring, well mannered, well spoken, and a good conversationalist. I so enjoy chatting with him and over some Pringle chips and pop we did just that.

Not surprisingly we talked a lot about prisons given that I'm fascinated with them and he of course lives in one. Beyond that though, Surendra has his own curiosities about prisons and likes to watch prison movies so he can see the differences in prisons in the West. What he sees may not be completely accurate of course but he knows enough to know that there are big differences, especially in terms of drugs and violence which are such big problems in the West. He told me that when foreigners first come to prison there they are pretty uptight and act tough as they expect that the prison environment to be conflictual and violent. But then within a couple days they realize that it is actually a peaceful environment which is friendly, helpful, and like a brotherhood. These are Surendra's words not mine, but from what I have seen and heard over the years I would agree.

That led to me asking his thoughts on why there is such a difference between the prison system in Nepal versus the West. His take is that in the Nepali system the inmates run the prison which inmates respond to as it's a whole lot better than having to listen to the police. I would also add that in Nepal there seems to be an investment in keeping the environment peaceful and clean (in terms of drugs and such). Not to say that there haven't been incidents of violence, but they seem to be rare. Drugs aren't common either and Surendra, a guy that you would think would be all over using drugs in prison given his lifestyle and to cope with being locked up, told me that they don't want drugs inside. If someone is found with drugs they could be beaten after which they receive a punishment of 1-2 months of confinement as well as duties such as cleaning toilets. Surendra feels that it isn't the beatings that will change the behaviour, but rather the humiliation that inmates respond to. And remember that the punishments are doled out by the inmates and not the police as the inmates are the ones responsible for the functioning of the prison.

I also asked about sexual activity/violence in Nepal as in Western prisons there is a lot of sexual violence and need to protect vulnerable individuals as a result. Relationships between inmates are also common between inmates, including transgendered inmates who end up being partners of men who on the outside are straight. They deny being gay but explain it being a way of coping in jail. I should add that this information is courtesy of Lockup, my favourite TV show where they tour US prisons while interviewing staff and prisoners. Best show ever..check it out!!! Surendra said that this is simply not a part of their culture. He told me about a male inmate who he described as "a female inside" (which impressed me) that they transferred to the women's jail when the guards realized that she was psychologically a woman. In almost 10 years in prison that's the only such case that he was aware of.

I'm not going to present the Nepali prison system as perfect because it's far from it. There is so much corruption it's ridiculous, differential treatment depending on how much money you have and/or who you know, inadequate prison conditions/basic care of inmates. But in terms of general functioning, level of violence, unrest/conflict between inmates and guards, drugs and need for security, in my opinion the Nepali prison system is far superior to the West.

You might not care why I think the way I do, or for a more in-depth analysis of the Nepali prison system, but sorry, you're going to get it anyway! To me, part of it is culture as respect is paramount in Nepali culture and unlike English is built into their language; meaning there are different ways of speaking to someone younger or older and/or deserving of greater respect. Nepalese use the term brother/sister when speaking to or even referring to another person regardless of their position in society, feelings toward them etc. It's expected within their culture so the same goes in prison; respect is there.

There are also no race issues to contend with in Nepal; a major factor in the conflict and violence in the West. And as already mentioned the whole system of inmates running the prison seems to make a huuuge difference. I'm not sure whether a similar model could work in the West because of a variety of issues too long to get into here, but it might not be a bad idea to try it out in a low risk setting. Amber, why don't you propose it to Vinnie for a trial in Prince Albert?? :)

We also talked about gangs in Kathmandu given that Surendra has the inside scoop being a gangster himself. Years ago when I supervised the best unit ever at Metis, we called ourselves G-Unit cuz we were a bunch of wannabe gangsters (who were pretty much as far from it as possible). Well, this guy is the real deal. He's from Patan which is across the bridge from Kathmandu and more developed. Patan is also his gang's territory. We got talking about Thamel which is the tourist area in Kathmandu where I live and he told me that he when he was out he couldn't really come to Thamel as it is controlled by a rival gang with the leader being a guy named Deepak. Like the brothel area that I wrote about in India, there are lots of illegal dance bars, massage parlours and brothels in Thamel (where there are tourists, there are "services"). And just like in India the owners of these establishments have to pay the gangs and the police to stay open as well as for protection.

Surendra told me that occasionally he would come to Thamel during the day but never at night for his own safety. But one night he was with a girl who wanted to check out a bar in Thamel, he agreed and went with her after he had been drinking and with no weapon for protection. Well, sure enough, he had barely ordered a drink when he was attacked by rival gang members. Luckily the police showed up and he was able to get home without being more seriously injured. He told me that once home and not thinking rationally as he had been drinking he wanted to grab a weapon and return to retaliate. But his parents showed up, saw him all bloodied and prevented him from leaving.

He also talked about a time in 2003 or 2004 (whatever year Italy won the World Cup he said) when one of Deepak's right hand men ended up in jail. He was none too friendly to Surendra apparently, always staring him down nastily. Well, the tension built and one day a fight broke out between them. Surendra told me that he beat him with a table leg (showing me a table leg of where we were sitting as an example), and breaking his leg in the process. Apparently there were no further issues after that. But that said, he knows that he will have to watch out for this rival gang when he gets out. He has heard that there are plans for retaliation against him,and knows it is quite possible.

Perhaps it's not the best time to mention that Surendra very much wants to show me "the real Kathmandu" when he is out and I return. The good news is that I am welcome to bring friends!! Care to join?? And no worries, I think we'll stay clear of Thamel just to be safe.....literally!. :)

Chillin with Surendra

Sorry but I'm back to prison stories; as you can tell they're one of my favourite things to write about!

I walked to the prison with purpose today, to burn some calories! Nepal is turning me into a Fatty Patty pretty quick given that unlike India I'm not walking much and instead am visiting and eating all the time it seems.

So I selected some fast music on the ol' Ipod and away I went motoring despite being in flip flops. I wonder how my feet are going to handle being in closed shoes again after 5 months in sandals? The broken toe still isn't healed either so it could be a problem. Anyhoo, I'm off topic yet again..

Power walking is a real challenge in Nepal I have to say given that Nepali people are the sloooowest walking people I've ever encountered! A Nepali friend told me that it's because they have short legs, which is kinda true, but I still don't buy it as I do too and I can walk pretty darn fast. On the contrary the Nepalese saunter as if they have absolutely nowhere to go (for the next month) and it drives me batttty!!

As I walked I couldn't help but feel like I was in some Super Mario Brothers video game (showing my age there I know), winding around the slowpokes while at the same time dodging bicycles, taxis and rickshaws, people carrying things (almost got impaled when one guy came around a corner), then on to the sidewalk which is ever worse as there is even less space to manouver..up, down, up, down, from the street to the sidewalk I went. I'm sure I totally messed with their "system" as their pace is all exactly the same, tortoise.

Arriving at the prison I saw tons of people standing around and I thought, holy crap, I'm not staying if the crowds are worse than last time! But turns out those people were just hanging around outside and only a few people were actually in line. Phew! Then just as I got into the security line which only had a few women, I heard "bideshi" again from the same guard and a motion to go on to security. Rock on!! After that the process was smooth as silk.

When I strolled over to get stamped the guard didn't give me back my slip and instead motioned for me to go into the next room. There I found a room full of police and yep, they wanted me to come in and hang. So funny. So I sat and chatted with the boyz for a bit. The second in command was there and I think was trying to set me up with the guard that I had made friends with the first day. He pointed out that he was a good looking guy and asked what I thought of Nepali guys/police. I skirted around those questions easily by saying that some were ok and then focusing again on what witches the women were :) I was told that they're jealous of me.."because you're beauty." Seriously, can't we all just get along girls??

Thankfully I was saved by my buddy Surendra who must have been tipped off that I was there. I had planned to ask the boyz if I could go and visit him but then didn't need to as he showed up and asked for me. They had probably hoped for a longer chat but agreed and off I went!

And what a great visit we had! First out came the drinks which again he wouldn't let me pay for. He said that they were his treat here and that when he comes to Canada that it will be my turn. I was thinking, okay my friend, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't need to hold up my end of the bargain on that one!

We had a really good talk after that and I have to say that he really impressed me. Compared to 3 years ago he seems to have really matured. He talked with emotion about the nearly 10 years he had wasted in jail (which he described as a whole generation..pretty sure he meant decade) and how he had done nothing with his life. He turns 32 on May 26th. He quit drinking and has earned the trust of the guards with his good behaviour. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for him; only 11 more months to go (he only has to serve 10 years of his 20 year sentence) and he doesn't want anything to mess with that. He also realizes that his good behaviour has to continue once he gets out otherwise he will end up back in prison for another decade. He knows he is getting a second chance.

Surendra also knows that once released he will be watched closely by police, I thought because of who he killed. But it seems that it has more to do with his connections and the things they think he was involved with, and perhaps still now. In fact the head of police had been there that day which he believes was because of him. So Surendra stayed inside until he left. He was also asked for a copy of his ID which he believes is in preparation for when he gets out. Well I can tell you that I saw his ID and he was like 15 in the picture so I'm pretty sure it's not going to be of any help to them! He looked like such a sweet, innocent boy in the picture with a Newari hat. It was hard to believe that it was the same person, and that the boy in the picture's life could turn into what it had. Sad really.

Surendra told me that once out he would have to be super careful as he could easily be framed. He gave me an example that if one is caught with a revolver, the police can lay a bogus and more serious charge of possession of brown sugar (heroin). A charge like that could lead to another 10 year sentence and he certainly has no desire to lose another decade of his life.

All prisoners want out and have every intention of not coming back so Surendra's words were of no surprise. But I felt sincerity in what he was saying, in that he knows it is time to grow up, be responsible and try and make a life for himself. I asked him what he thought he could do workwise, as that will be one of the keys to him being successful I'm sure. He only has a 10th grade education but with his English could do something legit in Nepal with all its tourists. He offered up driving or sales as jobs that he thought he could do.

But coming to Canada is also in his thoughts. Call me a Debbie Downer but I felt that he needed to know that it may not be an option; mainly because of his criminal record, and secondly because Canada isn't too generous on the visa front. I know this firsthand, and have heard from many Nepalese as well that it is hard for them to secure visas to Canada compared to places like the UK and Australia.

Surendra had no such concerns though. He still has a passport (kinda scary huh?) and said that in Asia anything is possible; meaning with his connections, fake documents and such, that he can do it. I know you must be thinking, give your head a shake Crystal, listen to him and his criminal mind! Well, actually that's the norm here and everyone does it. Making fake documents seems to be a pretty essential part of the process if you want to do anything from getting a bank loan to getting out of the country. His family is currently paying big bucks to try and get his brother a visa to Canada so he knows about that process, but in true Surendra style he figures that marrying a Canadian girl is the way to go. You'll be happy to know that I've already made it clear that I will not be doing that for him :) I did offer up my friend Alison, who he quite likes, as an option though. So Alison-ji, if you're interested hit me up! :)

He does have connections though; that is very obvious. As we were chatting someone dropped off a stack of movies that he had ordered. I took a look and amongst some action flicks, found Beyonce, Rihanna and Katy Perry DVDs! I was laughing to myself about his choice in music until it clicked that they were music videos. Good ol' Surendra has great taste after all.

The movies are an example of how connected he is though and how he can pretty much get whatever he wants despite being in prison. Being a guard certainly gets him some of these privileges, but so does paying off the Jailer. I asked him what that looked like; meaning how does one pay off the Jailer, and with what? Just call me Lisa Ling :) I got the coy smile, shrug, the "you know," and an explanation about how he and the Jailer have a friendly chat followed by which he passes on some gifts. Some nice shoes, clothes, alcohol and so on.

Well imagine how much that Jerk gets with thousands of inmates, many of whom have no doubt become guards because they've paid him and/or others off. But, I was surprised to hear that it was the current Jailer's last day; that his term was over. So I guess Surendra and many others will need to start all over, buying off someone new. I sure hope that the new Jailer will at least change the rules back so that foreigners can have visitors. Fingers crossed..

Still on the topic of Surendra's privileges, he has a dog if you can believe that! And he's the only inmate that does which led to the question of how that worked? I got another smile :) There is so much to how this prison works, I am sure that the little I know barely scratches the surface. Anyway, he asked if I wanted to see his dog and I was like, sure! So off he went inside to bring out his dog and while I'm waiting I'm picturing what kind of dog this tattooed, bad boy inmate is going to have. I'm picturing a big, manly dog, something like the street dogs that you see. Then I see him heading towards me with this white and sandy brown little pomeranian-like dog..which was so funny to see, it just didn't fit. Up close "Joni" (who despite his English name only knows Nepali) sadly isn't the most attractive dog. He's got the weirdest teeth ever with the bottom teeth hanging out of his mouth. A face only an inmate could love. Poor thing... But he's a great companion for Surendra so that's nice for him.

After a relaxed and lovely visit with no time constraints or restrictions I went to visit Proscovia. Once again it was loud, super busy and as a result our visit was cut short. As my grandma would say" those buggers!" I was happy to hear that the clothes that I had given Proscovia fit her. She had a great time trying them on and an even better time once she realized that she could squeeze into them. I had just booked my flight for the following week so told her that there were only 2 more visits left. That wasn't great news as I know she is already dreading me leaving. The letters that I am typing for her say so. She writes about making use of the remaining time with me and her worries about what it is going to be like after I'm gone. Days have been busy for her in the last month with reading letters from friends, responding, reading the books I've given her, and waiting for my visits. Boredom and loneliness have not been apart of her life for at least a little while. For that I am happy.

A Much Needed Break From Kathmandu With My Saathi

I'm taking a break from blogging about prisons and instead will write about a lovely day that I had outside of Kathmandu today.

As you already know I first came to Nepal in 2009 to volunteer. I arrived at the beginning of January and was unpleasantly surprised to learn that it's frickin cold in Nepal at that time of year and that I would need a lot of gear in order to stay warm. I'm never very good at doing weather research before I go somewhere and often end up in a place in the worst season ever. Not only have I frozen my ass off in Nepal, but I've also gone to SE Asia and India in the hottest part of the year. I also chose to do a month of Spanish school in Cuzco, Peru, one of the highest cities around, which translates to colder than a witch's you know what. Anyway, you get the point; I'm not always the brightest crayon in the pack when it comes to preparedness.

But, in all fairness to me, the other 5 Canadians that arrived with me were as equally unprepared and so within a day of arriving we hit the tourist area of Kathmandu (Thamel) to buy some gear. Turns out that kind of stuff is a huge business in Thamel because of tons of tourists there to trek through the Himalayas. On a side note I'm sure that I am one of only a few people who have been to Nepal more than once and who have never gone trekking. It's too cold, I wouldn't like being dirty and wearing the same clothes for days on end and I'm lazy. I can admit it. So I figure why go for the sake of going, to say that I did, only to be miserable the whole time? And believe me, lots of people do it, such as Mt. Everest Base Camp cuz it sounds cool to have done. Not me. I march to the beat of my own drum! :) And so when the guys in the street trying to sell trekking tours ask me about it, I just tell them, sorry, I'm lazy, and they like that as it's not something they often hear.

Anyway I am soooo far off topic now I don't even know how to get back :) Ok so one of the first things I bought was a blanket; now not just any blanket, but a 100% Yak Wool blanket! The guy in the shop introduced himself as Light, which was different than the many others, he spoke great English, with a sort of British accent, and was quite charismatic. We could joke around with him in hopes of getting a good price. My friend and I each ended up buying blankets from him and chatting for awhile in the process. It was a nice shopping experience, we liked our blankets and thought we did pretty good price wise to boot.

I never saw Light again until my last week in Kathmandu. I ended up walking by his shop one day and there was no forgetting him. Compared to all of the other shopkeepers he simply stood out, and like I said, he had charisma, and character. So we ended up going for tea and having a chat before I left.

Kathmandu had been such an amazing time in part because the group of us Canadian volunteers had become like a family in our home outside the tourist area. The other big part was  my connection to Teo. I had such a hard time leaving after 2.5 months, and I am sure never would have left had I not have booked a South India tour before I had left Canada. So off I went saying goodbye to some of my friends who were staying behind, bawling of course as I left in my taxi to the airport (poor taxi driver).

The first part of the India tour was tough as I was mourning leaving Kathmandu but after connecting with a few of my tour mates it got easier and allowed me to love all that I was seeing and experiencing there. But, I still yearned to go back to Kathmandu and that's exactly what I did when the tour ended.

When I returned I went to see Prakash again and for the next few weeks we hung out a lot, mainly in his shop which of course had the blankets and pashminas. Now that we were friends, Light, who I now referred to by his Nepali name, Prakash (meaning Light) filled me in that the blanket I had bought was not 100% yak wool. In fact all of the shops claiming to have 100% yak wool were all bogus. He showed me a real yak wool blanket and let's just say that I can see why it's not a bestseller. It's really rough and not at all something you'd want to cuddle up with. Instead people like me like the softer than soft blankets which they believe are yak wool, but which aren't. So this yak wool issue became a big joke between us; the fact that he ripped me off. He continues to assure me that I got a good price though, and I still do love that blanket, so really, who cares. Plus I got a friend out of it :)

So then I left again, as I was meeting my best friend Corrine in Cambodia. This time I didn't plan on coming back. But after Cambodia, Vietnam and a little time in Bangkok, Thailand, I was flying to Peru. And wouldn't you know I was going through India, so I thought hey, why not stop over in Nepal given it's just a hop, skip and a jump! So for the third time I landed in Kathmandu and for a few weeks, spent almost all of my days at the prison, with plenty of time hanging out with Prakash as well (who I had surprised this time). It was Prakash who introduced me to the word 'karuna' and its meaning in Nepali, and who helped me design the karuna tattoo which I got in Nepal to symbolize what my time there had been all about, and how I wanted to continue to live my life. He calls me Karuna to this day and I embrace it as my name while in this part of the world.

Since leaving in July 2009 Prakash and I have stayed in contact and become close friends. Two years ago he married Radikha; a wedding which I would have loved to have been apart of had he given me more notice. He is  professor of journalism in college here, and continues to run one of the family pashmina businesses.

Fast forward to March 2012....One of the bonuses of going to India was that I was close enough to swing by Nepal to visit Prakash and Proscovia as well as other old friends. Prakash met me at the airport and placed a beautiful scarf around my neck as a welcome back to Nepal. It was a lovely reunion that I won't forget. He had rode his motorbike there to meet me but with my luggage I was going to need to take a taxi to my hotel. But after Prakash had a brainwave we sent my luggage with the hotel guy while I rode with him. He and I had gone on a couple day trips on his motorbike when I had been there in 2009 and I loved it. So it was so nostalgic and exciting to commemorate my return by riding in to the city on his bike. I was so happy to be back; just seeing all the familiar sights filled me with joy.

Since I've been here I've spent a lot of time catching up with Prakash in the shop. The same 100% yak wool blanket signs are up, as they are in every shop in Thamel. We still talk and laugh about it. I'm sure he won't like that I''m broadcasting the truth about the bogus yak wool blankets to all my peeps, but hey, it's not like any of you are going to start any campaign against the yak wool scheme. Plus, Prakash is still one of the most, kind, compassionate and good people that I know, fake yak wool and all :)

Over the weeks we've had endless chats about all that we've missed talking about in the last 3 years (some things you just can't talk about on Skype) and drank a lot of tea in the process. I've met his wife who is lovely and gone to their home for dinner, which was also lovely. Their home is on the edge of the city and huge as it is a joint family; his two brothers and their families each have a floor, while Prakash, Radikha, his mother and twin sister live on another floor. I got to meet his mother for the first time, as she moved to the city from the village after I left, and got to see his sister and brother again. It was a lovely evening..

 Prakash is a busy guy with teaching and the shop so has little free time. But he wanted to at least take me out of Kathmandu one day, into the countryside, as we had done before. By the time we arranged the day I so needed it after more than 2 weeks in Kathmandu with its pollution and noise. I was finding that my patience was running thin with the horns, spitting, slow walking people, and that I needed to get away, see some green and take in some fresh air!

So today after a rooftop breakfast on a clear morning where we could see the foothills surrounding the city, off we went out of the city and into the beautiful countryside that makes up Nepal. I loved being on a motorbike again, and in particular once we were out of the city when I didn't have to wear a face mask, could smell the eucalyptus and see the green trees and hills. The sights were amazing to see again; the rolling foothills which turned into snow capped mountains as we went farther, beautiful rice terraces carved into the hills, traditional homes scattered all over, women walking along carrying baskets of grass on their backs, villagers herding goats, buses with young people riding on the rooftop as I had done and loved when I was last here....Besides the bumpy ride during which at one point I came down hard and chipped my tooth, it was simply lovely and soooo needed.

After riding close to 40 kms we headed off on a sandy, narrow road which circled around a hill leading to his sister's home. I couldn't help but sing "she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes..." :) Riding out to visit Prakash's sister and her family had been the plan all along as it was a beautiful ride and he could see his sister at the same time. The area had a lot of springs and as a result has a lot of trout farms. Many times along the way I had to get off the bike so Prakash could either manoeuvre the sand or small spring running across the road. It was remote! Finally we arrived, parked the bike at a neighbour's, tromped across their property and over the wheat that they were harvesting, to his sister's home.

Their home is two storeys, made of cement with some reddish mud used as well and with a tin roof. The bedrooms are upstairs which you get to by ladder, and on the main floor is the kitchen, storage room and another for goats. The family has cows, goats and farm wheat, rice, potatoes and mustard as well. They also have fruit in their yard like papaya and lime. Their home is on the edge of a hill full of terraces, trees and is simply beautiful. The upstairs bedrooms have window openings that look out on to this amazing scenery; quite the view to wake up to everyday.

When we arrived, Prakash's sister, brother in law and their adult son were beating the wheat that they had just cut. Prakash's sister would carry the bushels over and the men would beat them over a stone to separate the wheat from the stalks. Wheat was flying everywhere and it was all over the ground. After his sister got us some tasty green papaya, grilled potato and some delicious juice concoction, they went back to work. Prakash's brother in law continued to beat the wheat while his sister picked up the wheat that was laying on the ground and held it up in the wind which blew the husks away. It was a fascinating process really and  during which I couldn't help but think about how different farming is in Canada. Lucky for them they get 3 crops a year versus our one but it's quite a hard life with physical labour being required for pretty much everything they do and eat.

Their son, Suman, who is studying on a full scholarship in Kathmandu to be a structural engineer, gave me a tour of the house and took me on a walk to the spring where they get their drinking water from. I saw the cracks in the rocks from which the water comes from. Suman has actually tested the water in a lab and found it to be pure, pure, pure. After hearing that I felt better about drinking the juice from which it was made!

We sat outside with me enjoying the peaceful scenery, took pictures (mainly of Prakash's young niece and her friend who very much wanted a photo shoot), played with the goats, and I tried to win over the cat who wanted nothing to do with me. Then after a great meal we were on our way. His sister wanted me to stay the night, but I wasn't prepared so told her next time!

After a few hour visit we went on our way, tromping through the neighbour's yard again during which I got another invite to stay. The ride home was even more beautiful I think and I savoured every sight and smell, especially during the many times I had to get off the bike, walk, and even push so we could get back up the road with its sand, rocks, and streams. Despite the beautiful scenery I was reminded again why I'm not interested in trekking :)

By the time we made it back, 10 hours after we had left that morning, we were both exhausted and our butts were killing us. As much as I love being on a bike, it kills the ass, even despite all the padding that I have! Back in Kathmandu we were reunited with the crazy traffic, barrage of horns and pollution. The mask went back on but I didn't care. The day had been exactly what I needed and was truly authentic Nepal and Nepali hospitality. I felt so lucky to have had the experience and am very grateful to a great saathi (friend) for the experience. Having friends in the places you visit is the best feeling and one that as you can tell by now always brings me back. Because really it isn't the place..it's the people. And with friends like Prakash here, I can guarantee that this won't be my last time.  

A Mother's Pain

I have no doubt that the hardships Proscovia has had to endure in prison; the primitive living conditions, food restrictions, rats, having no visitors and so on pale in comparison to the pain and guilt that she suffers being away from her daughter. Even if you can't empathize with someone who has made the choice to traffic drugs, and the consequences that they must live with as a result, I suspect that you can at least feel for the child that has been left behind to suffer a different kind of sentence...growing up without a parent.

Nicole was about 7 when her mother left Uganda and never returned. I don't know exactly when, but shortly before that she also lost her grandmother, Proscovia's mother. Contact with her father has always been sporadic. Since her mother left she has lived with her great uncle and his family. She has plenty of company as her uncle has five children, but I'm sure playmates are little consolation when your mother is not around and you don't understand why.

Proscovia can use the phone to call Nicole once every two weeks for 5 minutes, that is when she can afford phone cards. You can imagine how pricey they are when you're calling Uganda, and difficult to afford when you are living on 50 cents a day. Sometimes Nicole isn't there when she calls and those times are particularly tough. Yearning to hear her daughter's voice only to discover that she isn't there, and then to have to wait another two weeks to try again must be torture.

When I first arrived and asked about Nicole, Proscovia told me that it had been difficult to connect with her over the months and described Xmas as a "disaster" as she couldn't reach her. Sometimes she calls Nicole at school and her teacher kindly acts as a go-between which has led to more success. She told me about a recent call during which Nicole didn't have much interest in talking to her, and how worried she was that her daughter was drifting away from her. The next time they spoke though Nicole talked about her worries about not doing well in school, and about how her father had been threatening to take her out. Proscovia reassured her that her father didn't mean it and encouraged her to keep at it. Although Proscovia was certainly sorry to hear that Nicole was struggling, she was also happy that her daughter was feeling close enough to confide in her. Her worries about their attachment would be held at bay for at least a little while longer.

During one of my visits this week, Proscovia shared that she had been having a tough day, which you could see on her face. She had just finished writing a letter to a friend which had made her quite emotional as part of it was about Nicole. We only scratched the surface of her feelings that day though as there was such good news to talk about with me meeting the Big Kahuna. Not surprisingly Proscovia is always more than willing to focus on good news rather than the sad stuff.

A day later I typed out that handwritten letter to send off to her friend (who I also know). Reading her thoughts made me feel so guilty about not focusing more on how she was feeling that day as it was obvious how much she was hurting. It made me emotional even writing it, so I can only imagine how she felt.

I want to share an excerpt from Proscovia's letter with you to highlight who she is as a person and mother as well as the tragedy of her mistake. Nicole will likely not see her mother until she is already a grown woman given that Proscovia has another 12 years to serve.

And Proscovia is not alone. I can guarantee that 99% of the women in her jail are mothers; meaning their children are growing up without them. Some have shorter sentences but those convicted of drug trafficking (and there are many) have sentences of 16.5 years. So that means a whole childhood for some of these children. In Nepal children often end up in orphanages when their mother goes to jail as extended family can't financially provide for them. PA Nepal is one NGO in Kathmandu that cares for such children and where Basecamp sends volunteers to assist with childcare.

And so in a little hellhole of a prison in Nepal, a mother is worried about her daughter's education, future, and is doing what she can to show her love and support from thousands of miles away. And this mother is the drug trafficker that many people think should just rot in the worst of conditions...to learn a lesson. You tell me, does this sound like a person that you'd want to wish that on?

Nicole is fine, this year she's in the upper primary level. She needs me a lot, talking to her is all I can do. I wish to request you a favour. Around November she'll be doing her final exams. Kindly send her success cards, from you, me and Kathy. For mine, could you write "From Mummy-Nicole you are a very special girl and deserve the best results with flying colours. My daughter I'm proud of you, I think and pray for you always. I miss you..love Mummy."

 

I have a lot more to write but the tears keep coming. I can't stick to it. "Flying colours" is a term that excites children or candidates back home.I recall when I was in this class, how my mother was there for me, I truly can't describe myself...What Nicole feels? It's a tough time for me emotionally. I wish to talk to her often. I hope she'll perform well. The last year she was not performing well, it's indeed worrisome. Please don't mind that I'm sharing with you but I feel better that at least I've got my friends to share these situations and you're making me happy in the toughest of moments helping me to persevere. I'm grateful...

I have no more words, only tears, for a bad decision made by a good person; a person who will continue to suffer for many more years, and whose child will suffer even more.

The Best Day

I had the beeeeest day today and I'm on top of the world!

Today was a prison day. I've been going typically Mondays and Thursdays to spread out my two visits a week. Prison outings typically take up most of the day and are quite the trying experience. Today I set out in good time on my 40 minute or so jaunt but realized part way that I had forgot my passport which is now a must. FML. And it's not like it's a nice, peaceful walk that you want to do over again. Picture narrow streets jam packed with people, bicycle rickshaws, taxis (all asking you whether you want one), motorbikes whizzing by and using their ear piercing horns every chance they get, hawkers and shopkeepers trying to sell you everything under the sun like tiger balm, musical instruments and pashminas,as well as the ever pleasant horking and spitting that you're hearing, seeing and trying to dodge. This all the while rocking a face mask so you aren't sucking in the pollution from all the dust and vehicle exhaust that gets trapped in streets sandwiched by buildings.

I know this probably isn't a description that will end up in some Tourism Nepal magazine as it doesn't shine a very positive light on the environment here, but unfortunately it's reality, particularly in Thamel, Kathmandu's main tourist area. Well, as they say in Nepal..ke garne (what to do?) :)

Okay that was an unnecessary tangent from my amazing day, but a necessary backdrop to my life here. As part of the walk I usually stop somewhere to pick us up a drink, snack and anything else that I might be bringing her that day (today it was Coffeemate as she's been out for quite awhile). I arrived finally about 1:00. No sooner did I get in the first line did I see my "Original Stalker," Indira, a Nepali woman who I had met the last time I was here.

Indira has a boyfriend in prison and faithfully visits him 5 days a week. She says she works but I don't know how that would be possible when so much of her time is consumed by visits. I also don't don't how she affords to buy him food and supplies all the time if she doesn't work. I suspect that her family supports both of them. Today she had eggs, bread and some vegetables for him and showed them to me proudly.

My Original Stalker very much wanted to be my friend the last time I was here and would faithfully wait for me outside the prison after she was done visiting in hopes of spending some time with me. She would also call the volunteer house incessantly. That's how she got the name "Stalker" as everyone at the house knew who she was and to tell her Ithat  wasn't home. She was difficult to avoid though as we were often at the prison at the same time. It got to be waaay too much. I did go to her house for dinner one night which actually was nice. Her parents were very sweet, the meal was great and overall it was a lovely experience. But she always wanted more and more which I couldn't help but feel was all about the prestige of having a foreign friend. You could tell she was thrilled to parade me around and show others that she had me as a friend. That turned me off as did the stalking. Once I was back in Canada she emailed me and asked for money to help get her boyfriend out of jail (not a cause I was going to support). I never heard from her after that.

So, there she was, quite surprised and thrilled to see me, her "best friend!" And I was like FML (for the second time today). As it turned out the line for security was super long so we had plennnty of time to catch up (with her poor English and my almost non-existent Nepali I might add). Right away she asked for my phone number. Thankfully my Delhi Stalker experience taught me something and I told her that I didn't have one (I know you'll be happy with that Mom). So I got the "okay you contact me by email okay?" Sure thing, Stalker I thought..aint gonna happen!

So we chatted a bit about her family, boyfriend (he's getting out in 3 months apparently, although I think I've heard that before), Teo and so on. But for the most part she talked to the other women in line; I'm pretty sure about what great friends we are. At one point she lifted her sunglasses to show me some brown spots on her cheeks which she told me was from duplicate cream.

And here I will digress...In India and Nepal (like many other developing countries I am sure) you get duplicate everything; meaning fake products. Last time I was in Nepal there had been a huge scandal as some people had died and/or gone blind from some duplicate rum that had been made and sold. Unfortunately for me, rum was all that I drank at that time (I'm now known to enjoy a little wine as well) so it was a bit touch and go for awhile with no rum to be found, until I took a chance and bought some anyway. I've bought plenty of other duplicate products I'm sure; some good, others not so much, such as duplicate sunscreen which led to a nasty sunburn and Oreos that looked the same but tasted pretty gross. The Colgate toothpaste though is the best! So you win some you lose some :) On a serious note though, Indira has been scarred from this cream, which of course is scary, so if you're ever in Nepal, stay away from Oil of Olay!

After a long wait in the hot sun during which all the Nepali women covered themselves with scarves and umbrellas to keep their skin from getting darker (which is a whole other topic) while I basked in the sun while scanning for my guard buddy who always let me through. Unfortunately for me, it must have been his day off. I was also freaking out a bit thinking that because I wouldn't get to go ahead, Indira and I would go to security together, she would see my cell phone that I would have to hand over, and my stalker dodging tactics would be exposed. See what happens when you lie!! Stress, nothing but stress! Well we eventually got herded over to security together and I skilfully concealed my cell phone without her seeing. I'm sure I'll be going to Hell for that one.

Anyway now on to the good parts...So I head over to the checkpoint where I get my visit slip stamped and am standing waiting for my turn, all the while looking longingly over to Badra Jail where I used to visit Teo. Once again, just like when I go to the Okanagan and am always scanning for the Ogopogo Sea Monster, everytime I'm at the jail I'm always scanning for Surendra, my Nepali gangster buddy. I had sent messages through a couple people to tell him I was here but so far no luck seeing him.

Today though as I was scanning I thought I saw someone who could have been him. Seconds later I see a guy with longer black hair, a white button up shirt and jeans strolling over. Bad eyes and all I could tell it was Surendra. I could see his smile from afar and then heard him say "I'm coming there for you" and there he was! The embrace was genuine and filled me with joy! I'm sure that's the first time they've seen that kind of sight on the prison grounds!

What a great reunion! As we chatted, he looked me up and down as players do, then asked about Alison, my friend/fellow volunteer who he quite liked. I teased him about the fact that he hasn't changed at all and is still a Dirty Dawg. He always had a harem of girls visiting. When I told him how I had wanted to see him but wasn't allowed, he confidently told me that there would be no problem, that he's in good with the Jailer, meaning he pays him off in order to stay in his good books and get his 'facilities' (privileges).

As we were discussing the topic of me visiting him, the nice guard who I had befriended early on came by. So Surendra asks him if I can come over and visit him for awhile and after taking a look at my visit slip, he smiles and says 'don't stay too long." Oh man was I happy!! I had been dying to go back to Teo's jail for old time's sake, to see if anyone I knew was still there, and most importantly to see Surendra, who I had had many talks with during my visits there (much to Teo's chagrin) :)

We strolled over casually; me with a huge smile and him with his confident swagger. You would never think that this was a jail apart from the uniformed police hanging around with guns. Into the visiting area we went and again I was struck by the difference between the men and women's jails. It looked even nicer than before and I felt annoyed again at the blatant discrimination. Perhaps I was seeing it in a different light this time but I took it all in; nice seating areas and tables all around in the shade, everything nicely painted, green space in the middle with prayer flags draped across, a small shrine on the right and visiting benches at the back. It was open, bright and more like a park setting than a prison. Apart from the bars at the back from where the men come out to visit, it certainly doesn't look like a prison.

As per prison hospitality Surendra insisted that I have a drink and seconds later two cold bottles of pop were delivered to us as we sat in the separate section for staff. We had a great visit and I have to admit that I can see why girls fall for him. He's really cute, with a great smile and is quite the charmer. He has this gangster way of saying "you know" that I love to imitate and which he quite enjoys. You can tell he has money as he's always nicely dressed and clearly takes pride in his appearance. Oh yah and he has tattoos all up his arms. Lord Save Me! :)

Just so you ladies don't start filling out visa applications to bring him over to your country, I should tell you that Surendra has been in prison for over 8 years on a murder charge. He is now 30, so when he was about 22 he was involved in a gang and no doubt was up to no good as part of that. He was a little more closed about that stuff :) There was a banda (strike/protest) in Kathmandu one day and apparently one particular police officer was trying to arrest him. From what I remember there had been some history between the two. Well, Surendra stabbed the police officer to death. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years (6.5 years less than what someone receives for drug trafficking by the way). He told me that he only has 11 months left of his sentence, and is clearly looking forward to his release. He has been a prison staff for some time (which I suspect came as a result of him paying people off) but as a veteran doesn't seem to have to do much. He still gets his 'facilities' and can go on day outings 1-2 days a month. His main girlfriend didn't wait for him and has since married, but as I joked with him, I'm sure he has several more.

Turns out an Israeli woman in Proscovia's jail is in love with him. She writes him letters all the time (which he said is too teenager-ish for him) and visits him every couple months as allowed. She apparently wants to marry him as well. He was very nonchalant about the whole thing and doesn't seem to care if she visits or not. He told me that he just goes along with it to make her 2 years in prison a little happier and to make her feel good. It's a soap opera even in a Nepali prison I tell ya...

 

When I asked him about his plans after release he told me (as he had before) that he hopes to come to Canada. Look out ladies!! Apparently his brother is coming to Canada as well. If that doesn't happen he wants to get his own place; but I'm not sure what he'll do work wise. I've already lectured him on that topic!! It sounds like his parents lecture him a lot about what he has done as well. But they still support him financially and will do so once he's out.

 

We talked about Teo, the shooting that happened and reminisced about old times. I was shocked that he remembered so much, like what my tattoo says of all things! He was clearly very happy to see me again and that made me happy as I felt the same. He wrote the number to the jail on my hand so we can keep in touch and after finishing the drink and saying hello to another inmate/guard that I used to know, he walked me out. After another hug, as I wasn't sure I'd see him again, I was on my way.

 

Once outside I stopped to thank the guard who had allowed the visit and just as I was saying how happy it had made me, he got called inside the office. I was thinking, oh crap, he and/or I are in trouble because I was technically only allowed to go see Proscovia (and he had allowed the visit with Surendra) Seconds later, he called me over and said that his boss wanted to meet me! So I went into the small brick office where the police sit and was introduced to the head of security for the prison! He was pretty young and humble for being the Big Kahuna and he seemed to be quite thrilled to talk to me, a mere peon. He told me about his job (and he truly is the Big Kahuna being in charge of security for all 3 jails), wanted to know about my education and what I did for work. I told him that I wanted his job..little does he know that I wasn't joking!

 

So I mention all the changes and how I can now only visit twice a week to which he says noooo problem, you don't bother with the Jailer. If you want to come more often you just call me if there's a problem (and proceeds to write out his name, title and number). My Lord, this was what I had hoped for!!!! I couldn't contain my excitement and to be honest, turned on the charm. Some may say that my friendliness has got me in some not so desirable situations i.e. stalkers, buuuut, it has also benefitted me in many ways. I knew that I needed to win people over at the prison this time and it had worked. And, I didn't have to sell my body to do it which is a plus, haha! So we sat and chatted some more, along with a few other guards, one being the male guard at Proscovia's prison who has never been very friendly, even 3 years back. So I also took the opportunity to tell my new buddy how unfriendly his staff are at the women's side (to which the unfriendly guy agreed)! Anyway, like it or not people, I did give the Big Kahuna my contact information as he is one dude that I need to stay connected to! After being invited to the Nepali New Year's Eve party at the prison the next day, I dashed out realizing that there was only an hour left before visiting hours ended. I had already been at the prison for an hour and a half and still hadn't seen Proscovia!

 

So with some skip in my step and a big smile on my face from the two amazing things that had just happened, I headed off to Proscovia's jail. I don't know why, but everyone just seemed nicer and more laid back today. Perhaps because they're used to me coming now. They barely gave my things a second glance today, including the food which for the first time I didn't have to taste for them. I'm sure Proscovia appreciated not having a bite taken out of her banana bread :)

 

I couldn't wait to share the news of my day with Proscovia, especially the part about now having open access to her. She of course was happy, but I could tell that she was already focused on the fact that I would be leaving soon. The fact that I am incredibly lucky to be able to visit her was reinforced today when she told me that a Basecamp volunteer had come but been denied a visit. The volunteer had only been able to drop off some things. So lucky..

 

We had mango juice together as we visited, but I ate my snack alone as she always wants to save hers for later when she can savour it rather than focus on our visit. I guess I can't blame her for that but it sure is not as fun to eat alone. She was having a rough day after writing to a friend about her daughter so needed some cheering up. Thankfully I had some good news to do so.

 

On my way out I told her with glee that I would be there again on Sunday for my third visit that week, taking advantage of my new privileges. I picked up my belongings from security and strolled down the dirt road out of the prison after an amazing afternoon. There was no wiping that smile off my face!

But then who did I see waiting on the road? Indira of course, who had probably waited over an hour after visiting her boyfriend. Geez Louise here we go again I thought. And so into stalker dodging mode I went..yet again..

 

She wanted to walk back to Thamel with me, then asked for bus fare when I told her I wasn't walking back (also a little fib). After that the focus was on me coming to her house on the weekend, with an invitation to stay there period, rather than a hotel. As we walked she called over to a friend clearly wanting to show me off. Then she pulled out the duplicate Oil of Olay cream to show me. Why you would want to carry something like that around in your purse I have no clue. Then she asked if I could get her some cream (the real stuff) from my country. At this point I was thinking I had to escape, and as she stopped to get some fruit, I told her I had to run and dashed off. Dodging her is going to be tricky though given that we will likely be visiting at the prison most days, and due to her insistence on waiting for me after she's done. My Delhi Stalker is looking pretttty good right now! Oh and on that note, he just sent me a Facebook request with a different name, so if anyone gets a request from Dushy (AKA Douche Bag) Pandit, stay clear!!!!

Visiting and Living in Prison In Nepal

Since my first visit with Proscovia I have gone faithfully twice a week as allowed. Spending time with her and being as much of a support as I can is my main purpose for being here so even being sicker than a dog couldn't keep me away.

The process of getting to and from the prison and the formalities once there can be so exhausting though. The first day I did it on my own I couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I was only allowed two visits a week.

There were a lot of people around when I arrived for my first solo visit and not surprisingly it was pretty hard to just blend in with the masses. A police officer quickly rushed up to me and tried to send me up to see the Jailer again. I wasn't having any of that nonsense and he wasn't having any of my attempts at explaining in English that I had already done that. Thankfully a staff who had been there the day I got permission showed up and sent me on my way.

Visiting hours had been over the day I had gone with Bikash so there were no line ups. Not the case on this day. Holy crap there were line ups everywhere it seemed!

I lined up in the first line to check in with my passport (which is now required and dangerous for a girl like me given how careless I am with my things). There was a wait there followed by another line to pick up the passport and visiting slip. I have to add that when you check in and they ask you questions like your relationship to the inmate and the type of case they're in for, you get this feeling of wanting to justify why you're coming to see a drug trafficker and to assure them that you're not in the same kind of business. But I just respond by saying "friend" and "drugs." I'm sure it's hard for them to comprehend the karuna part of it.

After that I was on to a third window for a closer check of the passport and slip which thankfully I passed. But then I turned around to the two very long lines of people, one line for men and one for women, which I eventually figured out was the wait to head over to security. It was at this point that I was thinking that visiting twice a week was going to be plenty. It reminded me of when I went to visit some Canadian prisoners in Peru (I'll blog about them sometime soon) and the gong show that went along with that.

So I stood there for awhile not having a clue what was going on. The line wasn't moving and it seemed like it was going to take forever. I have to admit that I was annoyed because these checks hadn't existed before the shooting had occurred and the rules changed. It had been so quick and easy before.  Anyway, shortly into the wait I thought I saw a policeman motion for me to come through to security (despite me being at the back of the line). I gestured "who me?" and he motioned for me to come again. I was a bit ashamed to take advantage of my foreign status and leave all the women behind, and even more ashamed to admit that that feeling wore off pretty quickly as I was so happy not to have to wait in line!

I proceeded to the checkpoint where you have to drop off anything electronic, passport etc. and pick up a pass that goes around your neck. This is followed by what I'll call the Curious Georgia" belongings search where the female officers inquisitively check every single thing you've brought while everyone else watches. I need to think of something to bring to really shock them one day. The first day I brought Proscovia a meat pizza and a doughnut as a treat which they made me take a bite of. I took the smallest piece I could and both were kinda gross but I knew that she would love them regardless.

There was one friendly guard there that day and as I was taking a bite he asked me how it was. I responded "mito cha" meaning delicious, in part to try and win some points with the guards who I knew could make future checks either difficult or easy. Well, as it turns out I made a very important friend that day which I will talk about in my next post. He has continued to be very friendly and is clearly very happy to practice his English. I even got an invite to come and hang out at the prison in my free time so he can chat some more. I might have gone for it had the chats been behind bars but otherwise I wasn't interested.

After the Curious Georgias had their way with me, including the one who did the body search, I was on to yet another checkpoint to get a stamp. Here I met a guard I knew from before so that was a nice surprise after seeing only newbies. Then I headed off down the dirt road to the women's prison where the security search occurred all over again. It makes me tired just writing about it.

Each time I've visited there have been sooo many people. Thankfully all but one time I've skipped the long security line thanks to the nice guard that always calls me through. One time at one of the initial checkpoints the staff wasn't comfortable signing my visit slip and told me that I had to get it signed by the Jailer. Explaining that I already had permission got me nowhere so away I went to talk to the Jailer in his big office. It seems so strange to even write about it; that I'm in Nepal and that I just popped in to see the warden of a prison to get in for a visit. Anyway, it was like the guy had no recollection of our meeting the week before. He asked me the same question (my relationship to Proscovia), then signed the form without giving me another glance. The guy who sent me to the Jailer in the first place also seems to suffer from amnesia as he has asked me more than once "first time visiting?" despite seeing me several times (and there aren't any other white peeps around I tell ya)  and each time I tell him, no, it's my 3rd time, 4th time...

My visiting privileges have certainly felt tenuous but each time I go I feel a little more secure. The guards are checking me less thoroughly it seems, for example on my 5th visit I didn't have to take a bite of the food that I brought. It's the little things that make the process more bearable.

The actual visits with Proscovia have also been a challenge. There are more women in her jail than before (now about 250) and more people visiting. There is only room for about 8 people so it's been super crowded, loud and visits have been shorter than I would like. Some of you know how ADHD I can be; not liking to get into a topic until things around me are settled and I can focus. Well that's not possible in this environment. Being sick has made it even worse.

Okay, enough Debbie Downer..our fourth visit was great as there was a banda (strike) that day which meant no public transport so there were few people. I selfishly wished for more bandas so our visits could continue to be as good.

Proscovia at least has been enjoying having a regular visitor. I used to call her "celebrity" as she used to have so many visitors that it was like her own private jail and visiting area. But that hasn't been the case for about a year since the rules changed. She has been writing up a storm knowing that her emails will get sent and that she will receive the responses. After my visits I write her many emails to friends and family, and before visits I go and print off any responses that I have received. It has given purpose to my time in Kathmandu.

In addition to being almost entirely cut off from communication with friends and family in the last year Proscovia has also talked about how difficult it has been to survive, basic needs wise, without support from visitors. Inmates either receive 40 rupees per day (plus rice) with which you cook for yourself, or eat what the jail provides. There are "shops" inside the jail where inmates sell various provisions and there is a credit system for those that can't pay. Well, because Proscovia hasn't had any outside support for so long, her bills have become very large and it has caused problems for her in the jail as a result. Compounding the problem is that those running the shops have doubled prices. A Nepali friend estimated that to survive in Nepal one would need about 100 rupees a day (about $1.20). So Proscovia lives on less than half of that, and of course basics like toiletries come out of that amount as well. So you can see why having outside support is so essential to survival for prisoners in Nepal.

For those that choose not to take the money, food is provided, which my Didi (the prisoner/boss that I have talked about) is responsible for. Proscovia told me that my Didi has changed a lot since I was last there and is now quite nasty. She receives the money for the prisoners that choose to eat the prison food and is supposed to provide dal bhaat (the main Nepali meal of dal and rice) as well as tea. Well it sounds like she is skimping on the quality and pocketing the rest. She also has a newfound hate on for foreigners going on rants about how stupid they are (and so on). She has also tried to have them transferred to another region of Nepal, I suppose to get them out of her hair. The prospect of a move has been incredibly scary for Proscovia as she would be completely isolated in remote Nepal with no visitors or ability to communicate with the world.

I was disappointed to hear this news about my Didi as she used to be sweet, well, in her own way. Perhaps she is getting tired of being in jail after so many years. She is also there on drug charges. And by the way she looks like a grandmother, like in her 60s. I seem to still be in her good graces though, as I always get a "namaste" with praying hands and a smile when she sees me. I brought her some chocolate this time which she seemed to like. I sure hope that this kindness rubs off on Proscovia because life in jail can be miserable if the 'powers that be' have a hate on for you.

On that topic, Proscovia told me about an Indian woman who came not that long ago on a drug case. She was caught trying to post drugs out of Nepal. Well Indians and Nepalese don't like each other much (lots of history and issues between the two countries) and the same goes in prison. Being the only Indian woman there, she's being targeted in an effort to get her moved out. Proscovia explained that lots of things can be put on a person to cause them trouble and it sounds like this is what is happening with the Indian girl. At least she has Proscovia, who by the way is now fluent in Nepali. When I was here last she was struggling to communicate so I'm pretty proud of her. Being able to speak and understand the local language is pretty essential to survival when you're in prison in a foreign country.

There are a couple other new foreigners in Proscovia's jail as well. As you can tell some of our conversation is about prison news and gossip!  One is an Israeli and the other is from France. Both are serving 2 year sentences for marijuana trafficking. These women apparently have a lot of negative things to say about drug traffickers like Proscovia, yet don't see to see themselves in the same category.

Well that's about it for prison news at this point but you can be certain there will be more to come!

An Update on Teo

Hopefully by now you've read "Karuna," the story of Teo, a Nigerian man who spent 18 years in prison in Nepal. I received a lot of amazing feedback about this post, and more importantly, compassion (karuna) for him and what he went through. I hope that Teo and Proscovia`s stories have provided some insight into the realities of being a prisoner abroad, the injustice going on in other parts of the world, and how lucky those of us from developed countries are with our rights and privileges.

Writing about Teo brought back so many memories of our time together, especially being back in Nepal at the same time. One of the checkpoints at the prison is only steps away from where I used to visit Teo so it has been very strange not to head over there as I had so many times before. I`ve so wanted to just pop over to see if I could spot Surendra, my Nepali gangster buddy, and to bask in the nostalgia of the past. But I wouldn't want to do anything to mess up my visiting privileges.

So after days of thinking about Teo I called him after many many months of no contact. After many tries, a man finally answered the phone, all the way over in Nigeria, and sure enough it was Teo! It was so good to hear his voice and he was surprised and happy to hear from me after so long as well.

I told him with pleasure that I was in Nepal, more to bug him, as not surprisingly he doesn't have much use for the country and can't understand why someone would want to come by choice :)

I also updated him about Proscovia and sensed the same Big Brother/Head of the African group vibe from him that I used to. It didn't sound like he had much contact with anyone in Nepal anymore and summed it up by saying "I just want to forget." I can't blame him for that as I'd want to forget that nightmare as well.

On his end, he still hasn't been able to find a job, is very bored and spends most of his time involved in church programs. His family continues to support him financially. I've heard from a Nigerian friend how tough it is to find work where he lives, and according to Proscovia the situation isn't any better in Uganda. Unemployment and no security net like we have in the West are a dangerous combination and which of course contribute to the drug trafficking issue in Africa. After meeting Teo and Proscovia I always thought that it would be a great idea to start a NGO which would travel to trafficking hotspots in Africa educating people about the consequences of trafficking. And I thought that Teo and Proscovia would be the perfect people to tell their stories in hopes of preventing others from falling into the same trap. There are NGOs in India that do similar work in regards to human trafficking. It may not change things for those that take the risk because they are truly financially desperate, but I'm sure there are scores of others that are uneducated, naive, lied to, set up and so on. This kind of initiative could make the difference.with this group. I believe a NGO will be apart of my future, but whether this cause will be the one I'm not sure. As they say, time will tell...

Back to Teo...it was clear from his voice that this is quite a frustrating time for him. We certainly had some laughs, like when I did the impressions of him like I used to. But he just wasn't himself. He hasn't found a wife yet either which I jokingly stressed the need for. But joking aside I truly hope that he meets someone as he's still young and I know from past conversations that he would like a family. Explaining his 18 years in a Nepali jail probably isn't something that would go over too well on a first date though (well, maybe only with me, haha)!

I can only imagine what it is like for him being back in Nigeria after nearly two decades. The shock and adjustment to all of the changes that occurred while he was in prison (between 1992 and 2010) may have eased off by now. But finding his place as a productive member of society has proven to be a great challenge for him. How he will fair after spending most of his life in prison in a far away land remains to be seen.

The connection got bad and the conversation ended without the niceties that I would have liked. But I was happy to have had a chance to connect with him anyway. I'll keep you posted on Teo as there's no way I'll forget him in my lifetime. Let's hope for the best..I certainly feel he deserves it.