More Stories and Updates

I haven't written for so long and I'm not sure why. Perhaps life can become mundane, even in a new country, and people's stories, whether sad, crazy, or whatever, all start to run into eachother and seem normal after awhile.

But my beloved shelter, my main purpose for being here, has closed for 5 weeks for maintenance and staff vacation. I'm going to miss the people so much, and they are what has inspired me to write again.

I have to of course start with Kenia, as the drama surrounding her and her children has gripped me for months now. If you read my Facebook posts you will already know that her children are still in the care of the PGN (CFS). Since I last wrote though, they have been moved to a new hogar (children's home) in Guatemala City. I'm not sure why, although I hear that it's pretty common for foster children to be moved here. It sounds just like Canada unfortunately.

Tomorrow Kenia will travel to the city to have her first visit with her kids since they were taken from her in late January. The only news she has had about them came recently from another mother whose kids are in the same hogar (small world). This woman had been to visit her own children after which she told Kenia that her oldest child Carla cries a lot. This doesn't surprise me as Carla presented as the little mother of the family, and I'm sure she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders not knowing what is going to happen to her and her siblings, and as well what happened to their mother. But thankfully both Kenia and her children will have some answers after tomorrow.

I saw Kenia for the last time this week. She doesn't come often so it’s always a treat when I do see her. This time she wasn't feeling well, but thankfully she braved a photo with me so I will have a memento of her. That day ironically she was wearing a t-shirt that said "Chica Bomba" which I doubt requires any translation. Well that is sure how I am going to remember her being..a bomb of a girl. And actually, I wouldn't mind one of those shirts myself!

You will likely recall when Kenia and I went to meet with the lawyer and he asked her if she prostituted. She hesitated but then said no, making myself, and I am sure the lawyer, think that she was probably lying. Well unfortunately I think that the answer to that is yes, she was. Writing this, I feel as naive as I did as a 22 year old baby social worker starting out in the hood of Winnipeg, believing everyone and their stories.  With Kenia I think I did know, but just didn’t want to accept it.

There were other clues apart from her answer to that question, such as her less than shy personality and somewhat provocative clothing, both of which are not so common here. 

Well the icing on the cake, or, perhaps the nail in the coffin is more appropriate, was Thelma telling me that she had seen Kenia leaving the shelter with men in the morning. From what I hear prostitution is quite common with Nicaraguan and El Salvadorian women who come to Guatemala, and not at all surprising given that most likely lack the education and/or skills to obtain decent employment. Plus, many are likely single mothers, which is the case with Kenia. So I really can't blame her if she is prostituting, and feel no differently about her getting her children back, as long as she is able to provide for them and keep them safe.

This very well may be where Kenia's story ends as I'm not sure I will see her again...I just hope for the best for her and her children..

Next my Maria Esperanza, who I have had a soft spot for since the first night at the shelter when she showed up in that "I Love New York" t-shirt smiling up at me with that wide grin.

Well life continues to be up and down for poor Maria.  Everyday is the same for her, scavenging for recyclables all over Antigua. Walking, walking and walking some more, while lugging bags of her few belongings, as well as the bottles and cans that sustain her.

I see her around Antigua a lot..and she is always in different clothes it seems. Lately she has been wearing a very formal white blazer and skirt that someone gave her. It's so odd as she looks like she could be off to church rather than rummaging through garbage cans. But it's so cute at the same time. Some days she looks pretty good physically and is in good spirits. Other days she looks like a different person, with a red, puffy face and an expression that shows how miserable life can be.

She had that not so good look today when I saw her walking purposefully through the park. When she looks like this I honestly have to look at her 2-3 times before being sure it is her. That is how different she looks. I know by now what it means, which is that she is having her attacks and is not well.

A couple weeks ago Maria had an epileptic attack at the shelter and unfortunately I was there to see it. She was on her mat eating when it happened, and her food went everywhere as her body went into convulsions. The other women called us over and thankfully Thelma is a nurse so placed her on her side and stayed with her until it passed. I had never seen an epileptic episode before and hope to never again.

I've thought many times about what can be done for Maria..such as buying her a huge lot of pills so she will always have her medication, or trying to get her into an old folks home. But I think I have come to accept that unfortunately her life will always be this way no matter what.

I say this because I know now that there is no way she would stay in an old folks home. She's infamous for escaping from hospitals after being taken there by paramedics. And when it comes to her pills, she often forgets them, loses them or has them stolen. Sadly, this is her reality.

Now, in order to not send you readers into a deep depression over Maria's sad story, I need to point out that there are some positives and strengths with her and her situation. 

First of all, she is incredibly hardworking and can manage to eat, bathe, and for the most part get the basics that she needs. Secondly, people can see that Maria is a kind soul as so they often give her money, clothes etc. Third (I'm on a roll), her cousin who works in the park as a shoe shiner, looks out for her. He seems to have some delays but like Maria has a very strong work ethic as I see him working day and night. His black stained skin and clothes are proof of that. And finally, 3 times a week sweet Maria has a safe, warm place to sleep amongst awesome people who care about her. So although life will never be great for Maria, she's got some strengths and supports that will make life a little more bearable.

Now let's move on to some of the guys...It has been really interesting to be at the shelter over the months as I have been able to observe people and learn more about them and their lives.  There are a few who I had always suspected have mental health issues, and over time my suspicions have become more reality.
 

One example is Edgar Rafael, who is a petite, quiet, artsy type who draws and makes money selling his work. Alex believes that he has mental health issues as he supposedly talks to himself at times but I myself have never seen it.

However, I have definitely seen a different side of Edgar in the last couple weeks which I would describe as a manic episode. He has had tons of energy, talking and laughing lots, bouncing around the shelter like a kid, playing with a stuffed animal etc. Then one day last week he showed up wearing these blue funky glasses. At first I thought they looked kinda cool until I realized that they had no lenses. Then after awhile they had tape holding them together, which is never a good look. So perhaps Alex is on to something...

Then there is Henry, the guy who lived in Canada until he was deported. Well Henry often looks really bad appearance wise; dirty, dishevelled and looking kinda out of it. I think I have already mentioned that he rarely talks to anyone, yet most days talks my ear off in English. Unfortunately it's all very Donny Downer, as he's pretty down on life. His relationship with his family is estranged, although every month his parents send him $100 (which he technically could live on here). I doubt they know how he is living or what he does with the money. He has a hard time admitting it to me but I'm sure the majority goes to drugs. I've also suspected mental health issues with him, but couldn't figure out what exactly.

Well I think I got my answer last Saturday, the last night the shelter was open. That night Henry shared that before coming to Canada when he was 16, he had been in lots of fights in Guatemala. According to him the people that he fought with in Guatemala had connections in Canada, and "made life impossible" for him there. He said that they have continued to bother him here as well, despite the fact that he left that lifestyle behind. So yah, I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure his story isn't reality, and that he may have some issues with paranoia. If so it sure makes his drug use a lot more understandable.   

I saw Henry in the park yesterday for the first time, standing and waiting to go to sleep he said. Small pieces of cardboard were placed against the wall behind him for when it was time. But sadly he had about 5 hours to go as it was only 5:00pm and typically the homeless can't go to sleep until the police leave the park at about 10. I stood and talked to him for quite awhile and got the same hard luck stories. His parents didn't send him money this month apparently so he's broke. I kinda forced him to tell me why he was deported to which I got a long drawn out story about a shoplifting charge and violating his probation by drinking. There was an element of paranoia in this story as well. Apparently he was tricked.

The interesting thing about this conversation was that as I walked away I noticed that there were 2 police officers standing close by, I'm assuming to protect me from Henry given that to them, he's an unsavoury character. I'm sure they couldn't figure out why a foreign chick would be talking to someone like him, and in English nonetheless! They left their post after I walked away, I suppose feeling that I was safe once again.

Thinking about what people, especially the locals, think when they see me talking to the homeless amuses me. I would love to know. To me, they're just people, and people that I enjoy talking to more than the so called "normal people."

Now on to other peeps..

Two younger guys started coming the last few weeks, but only to eat. They are both "ayudantes," the guys who collect the money on the chicken buses (the old US school buses that I have talked about, and the main mode of transport here). Well it just so happens that these two guys have one of the most dangerous jobs in Guatemala.

The main reason for this is extortion, a huge problem in Guatemala. Gangs extort the owners of the buses, making them pay a fee per day/week to travel a particular route. Certain areas of the country are worse, such as Guatemala City. Everyday you read about bus drivers and ayudantes (as these are the people who they target) who have been wounded or killed, due a refusal or inability to pay the extortion. I have been told more than once that it isn’t wise to sit right behind the bus driver, and that rather half way into the bus is the best spot. The reason for this is that the driver would be the target so if you’re close to him, you could get shot as well. So let’s just say I don’t sit close to the driver. Yikes!

The other major risk to those working on buses (as well as those riding on them) is robbery. Again, certain areas are more risky, but there definitely is a risk of robbers coming onto the bus with weapons, demanding money and property (such as cellphones). They assault and/or kill those who don’t pay or resist. It isn’t uncommon for Guatemalans to keep a bit of money on hand just in case they need to hand something over. Or they avoid taking buses in risky areas. 

Guatemala City is particularly bad for this which is why people (at least those who live outside of the city) try not to take buses within the capital. It's purely luck, or fate (whatever you believe in), whether it is going to happen on a particular day. I think it's best that I don’t advertise how many times I've gone to Guatemala City on these buses..but let’s just say when the DQ craving hits, nothing can stop me..haha!
 

I hate to even write about the dangers here as my goal is to promote tourism in this amazing country rather than to hinder it. But, as we all know, there are issues in every country, and you can’t let fear stop you from living. By the way, is Winnipeg still the murder capital of Canada? :)

I digressed, sorry…so these two guys, who are probably only in their late teens, work on the buses, and I am sure out of necessity, as why else would you risk your life on a daily basis? Well this week, the one guy who works the Antigua-Guatemala City route showed up with a huge contusion on his head, telling me that he was attacked with a machete last week while working. Someone apparently came on the bus demanding money and assaulted him and the passengers. So he isn't working right now as a result. Scary stuff for sure (although my Spanish teacher doesn’t believe his story and thinks he probably got in a fight while drinking, hahaha)

Me and Papa Nacho

Now on to happier topics…I have to talk about Papa Nacho as he is the cutest 84 year old man, who if you can believe, it, at that age lives on the streets. It seems to be by choice though as apparently he has family, but chooses not to live with them for some reason. It must be for good reason as I don't even know how he manages. He hobbles around and can barely see! Sometimes he comes with another old, old guy, who apparently can't hear, so with Papa Nacho’s poor vision, they sure are quite the pair!!

 

Partners in crime :)

 

Well the good news is that Papa Nacho has a new girlfriend, yes at 84 years old! See people, it’s never too late :) Well he is soooo happy these days and it is so cute. I hope she takes good care of him as he is the sweetest thing...

I also wanted to share the story of a father and son (age 12 or so) who have been coming faithfully over the last couple of months. Alex tells me that they live on a finca (farm) and that their job is to guard it. But the pay is apparently so little that they often don't have enough money to eat. So they come to the shelter to get some free food which helps out. I haven't talked to them as they’re quiet and stick to themselves but their story breaks my heart. Life is such a struggle for some people. We always make sure the son gets extra pizza on the nights that we get pizza donations, as like any teenager he seems to love it :)

Walter, who I have talked about before, is still going to school. He still impresses me with his drive. Last week he had a math test and got all dressed up for it. So cute...

His buddy, Luis (on the right), is another guy that I like a lot. He's in his early 20s, is good looking, and you’d never think he’s homeless as he takes good care of himself. Well his story is that he is separated, not by choice, from his wife and two young daughters (age 2 and 3 months) who live in a town about 2.5 hours away. His mother in-law kicked him out of the house in December and he has been sleeping on the streets of Antigua ever since. Luis admitted to me that he used to drink a lot and wasn’t the most stable husband and father. So the mother-in-law took matters into her own hands by the sounds of it.

Since being kicked out he has been in Antigua, and like Walter, has been earning money washing and guarding cars. When the shelter isn’t open he sleeps in the park. He talks a lot about his wife and girls and very much wants to be reunited with them. He has been drinking a lot less and is trying to earn money for a home for him and his family.

Last month he saved 400 quetzales (about $35) and rented a house for his family in the town where he is from. But when it came time for the move, the mother-in law threatened that if her daughter left with Luis, that she would take the children from her. So she stayed put, the house was rented for nothing and Luis returned to Antigua to sleep in the park.

After that he went back again to try and speak with his mother-in-law, to convince her that he had changed, but unfortunately she refused to talk to him. So not surprisingly he hasn’t been in the best spirits ever since. Poor guy..

I hope after reading these stories it is evident how important the shelter is to those that use it. Having a place to go even 3 times a week, out of the cold and rain, where they can wash their clothes and shower (even in icy cold water), sleep on a mat and blanket (instead of concrete and cardboard), have a little something to eat, and be amongst for some, the closest thing to family or friends...that is comfort.

A friend sent me a social work article this week about "compassionate social work" which she said I would understand. Now I don't typically read these types of articles (I'm more of a TMZ kinda girl) but gave it a go based on the topic. There was a definition of compassion in this article which is...'a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble etc.: a sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress, together with a desire to alleviate it."

In case you didn’t notice, my blog is called “It’s All About Karuna” because “karuna,” meaning compassion in Nepali, has been, I hope, the message shining through during my travels and volunteer experiences throughout the world. We should “practice” compassion when anyone is suffering, for whatever reason; family problems, mental health, alcohol/drugs etc. Because many people, especially here in Guatemala, can’t understand why I would want to work with, talk to, or feel for “indigentes” (homeless people), I will close by suggesting that the amount of compassion we feel for someone shouldn’t be based on where they sleep at night. On that note, sleep well my friends :)