This will shock some of you, but I was really looking forward to seeing a little boy at the shelter on Saturday night.
On Wednesday night, a mother arrived with her 3 young children, 2 girls (about 11 and 7) and a little boy (4). The mother, who I now know as Kenia, gave me a kiss on the cheek as she entered, common in the latin world, but not at the shelter. So it caught me a little by surprise. After entering the little boy immediately put his hands up for me to pick him up, but not being one to encourage indiscriminate behaviour, I avoided it.
As soon as they came in the mother went straight to work washing their clothes. And she washed, and she washed. The girls eventually joined in as well, scrubbing away while their little brother bounced around the shelter like a ball in a pinball machine. I started calling him "mono" which means monkey as he was climbing on everything! A little Curious George he was, very cute, making faces and playing around with me. He was pretty cheeky for such a little guy, getting me back by calling me "mona" meaning female monkey! Loved the kid..
They sure must have had a lot of clothes as they washed forever, then took everything outside to dry. The little guy even walked out with a pail of clothes that he could barely carry.
We eventually served dinner, which happened to be donated pizza, so of course that was a hit with the kids. But perhaps not so much for the traditional, elderly men that were there as well.
After dinner I said my goodbyes and away I went..
On Saturday I was working the gate when Kenia arrived solo. Confused, I asked where her kids were? I was told that they were now in a hogar because she didn't have a home or job for them.
At the time I thought she had taken them there herself, as she presented as very matter of fact about them being in the hogar, with perhaps even an air of relief, of freedom. I myself was sad to hear it though, as the kids had presented as quite close with her, and of course thinking of my little mono who was so cute. It is rarely easy for kids to be separated from their mother, I know that too well after so many years in child welfare.
I didn't talk more with Kenia that night but Telma, one of the staff did, and she felt as well that Kenia seemed fine with her kids being gone. Telma felt that it was better for the kids to be in the hogar, explaining that on the street they would be at risk of being sexually assaulted or trafficked. Plus, how could Kenia work and at the same time look after her kids?
Two days later, on Monday night, Kenia arrived again by herself, and this time looking very sad. After she had settled in I went to talk to her and she was clearly struggling with missing her kids. It was then that I learnt that she hadn't dropped them off herself, but that instead a government organization had seen her with her kids in the street and had taken them from her. In Guatemala it is prohibited for parents to have their kids with them while they are working, say in the market, or living on the street.
I have been on my fair share of apprehensions, removing children from their parents, and it was never fun. Despite my experience doing the same work, I still couldn't imagine what it was like for these kids to be caught by surprise in the street and to have been taken from their mother. The oldest girl had seemed quite concerned about and close with her mother at the shelter, and my impression was that they were a tight knit family.
Well in 2 days Kenia had already found a job cooking and cleaning at a church, and had found them well a room as well! I was so impressed with her! She had also already gone to see a judge about getting the kids back, but unfortunately the judge was out (probably having a siesta), so she had no choice but to wait. She explained that once in front of a judge she would explain her case and that social workers would come and investigate whether she had what she needed for the kids. She had no furniture yet but felt that it would not be essential to the kids coming home.
I tried to get a sense as to how she had ended up in this situation. She said she has always worked and provided for her children. She once had a home but when she went to visit in her home country, Nicaragua, people broke into her home and basically trashed the place leaving them without a home to live in. The fathers, and there are 3, are not involved, but she seems to have some support from her in-laws.
Perhaps it was a dumb idea, but I did tell her what I did in Canada, essentially that I was the same as the people who took her kids away from her. When I talked about us taking away kids for reasons such as abuse, drugs etc. she seemed to get that, as it wasn't her situation. But she thought it was "malo" (bad) for kids to be taken in her circumstance, as she felt she was able to provide for her kids. She said they had never slept in the street because they had family that they stayed with. Despite having the option to stay there herself, she had chosen the shelter that night, as it was less crowded and more peaceful for her, She told me that there were 8 people in a two room place where she and her children would stay. Meaning 12 people in 2 rooms. I didn't get into the safety risks for the children when they don't have a stable place. Regardless she is doing what she needs to do to get back on her feet for her and her children.
So whether she gets them back, and when, will be up to the judge. She is worried about how they are doing without her and hopes to be able to see them. From what I am told, visits aren't something that are encouraged here, and don't seem to happen often or at all. It is felt that when the kids cry for their mother, that it causes emotional trauma and that as a result they are better off not seeing their parents. I explained to her that in my opinion, it was important for her to see the kids if she could, as kids often worry about their parents, and need to know that she is ok. She agreed and does seem to care about them a lot. I hope she will be able to see them.
Kenia was quite emotional, which made me feel for her, but it was certainly better to see than the first night when she seemed content.
I work again tonight (Wednesday), so I look forward to an update from her. I sure hope for the best...
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