Last night I went to a birthday party for Shiva at the place where he worships (when he is in Winnipeg, which isn't often). I kinda figured he was celebrating a big number but knew that he would never advertise it. He didn't even want people to know that it was his birthday.
So part of the Indian wedding crew went, with Jose and I arriving first. Arriving minutes before the program started I was in a rush to get in, bounding up the stairs to get in and seated. Well leave it to me to almost commit an embarrassing faux pas by number one, not taking my shoes off before entering, and two, nearly going through the men's door. It felt like I was in India again with those kinds of rituals to be mindful of. I wasn't thinking that I would need to do that in Winnipeg.
So down I sat in the chairs arranged on the women's side. Jose went off to sit on the men's. Shiva was sitting on the floor in the middle and was decked out in a traditional robe similar to what the guys wore for the wedding. It was great to see him after so long..his smile is so bright!
In front of us was a big picture of the man they worship, whose most recognizable feature is his wild afro. The music and chanting started and I took it all in. Diana and Sanjeev arrived sometime after with Diana coming over to my side and Sanjeev going to join Jose.. I was actually enjoying the songs until Diana read the board at the front and told me that we were on song 7 of 15. I have to admit that I said a "FML" to myself at that point :)
A woman behind us then handed us one of the books where you can follow along with the chants. Lovely I thought, now we can sing along with them! Not! Bless her heart, each song the lady next to me would take the book and flip to the right page for us. What a great help she was :) Finally Shiva, his wife and daughter got up and waved some candles around during a song so that added some excitement. And then the songs were over..phew.
It was at this point that we learnt that it was actually Shiva's 60th birthday.His wife came up to the mic and emceed the rest of the program which included several speeches about Shiva. It is because of the stories that I am writing today as his story is truly an inspiration and speaks to how education is the number one thing that can change one's life.. and dramatically at that. It also speaks to how far motivation and perserverance can take a person.
As Shiva and I were travelling through Northern Karnataka he told me his life story so a lot of what I heard that night wasn't new. But I am the type that always loses the details of stories leaving me with only the gist. So the speeches were a nice refresher of an amazing success story that I would like to share with you.
Shiva was born in a small, remote village in Northern Karnataka, India. The village was described in the speeches as the most backward of the backward. We're talking primitive conditions. His parents were both orphans and labourers. The family was very poor and there was typically little food. Hunger was the norm, and even having clothing was rare. There were many children with Shiva being one of the youngest. At 5 he was left at home to care for his 2 younger siblings (2 and 1) while his parents worked in the fields. Can you imagine a 5 year old feeding, bathing and caring for 2 toddlers? Well at that age Shiva figured out that if he took them to the village school they could get milk (from powder) that they would give to the children. He wasn't there to go to school, only as a means to get milk. Sometime later he decided that he too wanted to go to school, which as a bonus provided meals, and so he went, along with his siblings, to school.
I should add that at the age of 5 Shiva was married off to a girl of the same age. This is very common in villages in India, even today. It wasn't as if they would truly be married as in "his bride" coming to live with him and his family with them eventually being man and wife. But it was set for the future with there most likely being some economic significance to the reunion. Well a year later Shiva's bride died, which Shiva has said, saved him from having to provide for her the rest of his life. It was of course a sad ending for her, but freedom for him.
Then as a young child his father died. I don't know exactly when but it happened some time around the time he was to go to high school, which his village did not have. Kids this age would need to pay to attend a boarding school somewhere else in the State if they wanted to go further with their education, and his family, especially now without his father, certainly couldn't afford that.
At his father's funeral was a priest that had come from another village. Despite just losing his father, Shiva saw this priest and took it as an opportunity for freedom..an education. In India as a sign of great respect for someone you touch their feet. Well Shiva not only touched his feet, it was said that he grabbed on to them begging the priest to take him with him so he could go to school. He didn't let go until the priest agreed. His mother certainly couldn't say no to the priest and so despite I'm sure, it being a further hardship for her, she let him go.
For years he lived with the priest, who Shiva told me, treated him well, as he continued his education. After leaving the priest's home, he continued on in boarding schools where he secured scholarships to attend. Fellow classmates would give him extra food as what he received just wasn't enough. Because he hadn't had the formal education that others had, and had never had formal English education he also struggled academically, but received help from others in that area too. He learnt over time that he excelled in math so ventured off into the stream of statistics. He got a Bachelors, Masters, then was chosen to attend a speciailized demography program in Mumbai. Only a couple handful of students in India were chosen for this program and he was one of them after travelling to Mumbai to meet with the admissions person, essentially convincing him that he was the right person to choose). He was later chosen for an internship in Europe and later a PHd in Canada, all of which he got into, and/or got scholarships for, because of his determination, persistence and drive. He told me stories about going back so many times to try and convince an admissions person, and I can't remember which program, that he was essentially told not to return again to the point the secretary was notified not to let him in again. Did he listen? Absolutely not, and eventually that person relented, took a chance and let him into the program. I believe that was for his Masters, and the rest is history.
After getting his Phd, he became a professor at the U of M and in 5 years became a full professor. After years in the Sociology department he transferred over to the Faculty of Medicine where he has since found his niche. I've written about it before, but Shiva has since spearheaded multi million dollar programs in India related to HIV prevention, diagnosis and treatment, with the most marginalized population, sex workers, with funding by huge organizations like the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. He has travelled the world lecturing and offering his expertise and is nationally and internationally rrecognized. He now spends most of his time in India working on this project, as well as tons of others, including girls schools, cold storage to help poor farmers, and on and on. He puts in his own money for projects, raises money from others, connects people to facilitate other humanitarian projects and on and on. This man works tirelessly for the good of humanity.
And why this is so incredible is that he is the only one of his siblings who is literate never mind becoming a citizen of a country such as Canada and achieving the professional success he has. I visited his sister's village and home when I was travelling with him so saw firsthand where he came from, and what his life could have been. A rural life of farming to survive, with barely enough to do so. His sister produces onions which she sells to support herself. Animals being raised inside the home. No running water or plumbing. One light bulb used sparingly to light the home when absolutely needed. An open fire to cook in the home, coating one's lungs with smoke leading to respiratory problems and worse. A hard, hard life, with not much to look forward to and enjoy.
Shiva has not forgotten his roots, and how fortunate he was to have secured another life for himself. He has helped endless members of his family in various ways, one being education, knowing firsthand that that is the key to a better life. Despite his success and personal wealth he has great difficulty spending money on himself and is very frugal with his own. In India he probably lives on $2 a day. How he grew up is clearly never far from his mind.
I think his story is simply incredible; miraculous actually. That a man from such an impoverished and disadvantaged background could accomplish so much. When we talk and I hear about his life today, that I am so envious of, with his ability to travel the world, working on amazing projects, having cars and drivers, guesthouses to stay in and connections to incredible people and organizations, I try not to say to him, how lucky he is. Because when you know his story and how he got to where he is today, it really wasn't about luck. It truly was about his persistence,determination, and hard work to name a few of his fine qaulities. He deserves everything that he has, because HE made it happen, luck didn't.
