Last Visits

Today was my last visit at the prison and not something I was looking forward to. As I often say, reunions are beautiful but goodbyes are a bitch.

On my last day with nothing to lose I strolled in like I owned the place, drifting effortlessly from one line to another and just asking any guard if I could go see Surendra. Luckily I got the classic head roll (which by the way I now expertly do myself) and off I went.

Looking squeaky clean as usual with a black t-shirt that showed off his many tattoos (and results of his daily morning workouts if you know what I mean), baggy jeans with a Diesel black studded belt and sneakers, Surendra was lookin good. I imagine my dad looking Surendra-ish when he was young as he too had a reputation for being a bad boy. Perhaps not to the same degree, but you can see where my liking for the bad boy types comes from :)

Anyway, shortly into our visit a woman came by to get Surendra as he had been called to go see the Jailer. He felt bad about leaving me alone and wanted to at least bring me a drink but I passed on the pop today after too many the night before (the pop just may have had a little something extra in it) :) I could tell that he didn't like the fact that I wasn't having something as he liked to be a good host. And he wasn't the only host in the bunch either. While I was sitting and waiting for Surendra, another inmate/guard who I knew from 2009 (also in for murder) came and offered me a drink as well. Not what you'd expect from "hardened criminals."

So there I sat on this beautiful day, reading a book in this lovely, peaceful prison environment. Quite an oxymoron isn't it..

After awhile I was almost ready to leave and head over to see Proscovia when Surendra returned looking a bit tense. This is a good time to note my observation that Indian/Nepalese people use the word "tension" instead of "stress." They also have the expression "don't take tension" which I love as it implies that one has the choice whether to get stressed out or not. I plan on trying it out once I'm back at work to see if it keeps the ol' blood pressure down and me calm in stressful situations!

Anyway back to Surendra...

Let me acknowledge in advance what you have probably already been thinking...that I can AT TIMES be a naive, gullible girl, who always wants to believe people. I say this because it is now clear that Surendra is still very much connected to his old ties and that this is probably never going to change. The story goes that good ol' Surendra did a little business recently for someone who was having some problems securing a land title. By making some calls (from prison) he was able to fix things and the land was theirs within days. For this he was to be paid 1 lakh Nepali rupees ($1250 Cdn). The cause for the tension was that he was supposed to receive his money that day but had just got word that they were only forwarding 10,000 rupees ($120)with the rest to come. He wasn't happy as he felt that he had done his part whereas they weren't being honest and were yanking his chain so to speak. What I also learnt from this conversation was that he hadn't gone to see the Jailer, but rather another prison staff, someone probably pretty high up, who is his "staff" and connection to the outside. The money would be delivered to this person who would pass it on to him. Craziness I tell ya!

I asked him what he was going to do with 1 lakh as that is a lot of money in Nepal. Well it sounds like he`ll buy some new shoes, jeans and anything else he wants. He also told me that he could call me in Canada as "money is not an issue." I didn't leave my number though as judging from how many times he called me in Nepal I could have had a lot of calls coming my way. And before you start thinking anything crazy..it is simply boredom that led to all the calls, nothing more.

Being the level headed, responsible social worker that I am, I expressed concern about him maintaining his old connections and being involved in criminal activities once he is out, relating it back to our previous conversation and his own worries about ending up back in jail. This time he talked honestly and realistically about his plans upon release saying that "his people" would finance him, and give him the means to start some type of business once out. There will be no 'job' for Surendra, and by that I mean working for someone else. Instead he's going to try and make a business for himself, he's not sure what yet, and if the business doesn`t fly, then that's just what he'll do. That led to a reminder about the deal we have about me owing him a drink in Canada :)

I told him that I had been asking around about Deepak (I actually had drinks with someone the night before who was tight with Deepak and could arrange a meeting, but you'll be happy to know that I declined). I`ve learned that Deepak isn`t much of a gangster anymore and that he now has enough money that he can dabble around in politics. Greeeaaat. So essentially there are no gangs controlling Thamel anymore which means that it's only the police that the illegal businesses have to pay off now. Double greeeeaaaat.

That got Surendra talking about his `brother" Raju who is the big boss of his gang and Deepak's old rival. Apparently Raju is now is a member of Congress in Nepal. Boy is just keeps gettin better doesn't it? The fact that gangsters are running this country is a pretty good indicator as to why my hair looks like crap some days. Let me explain...

Most people probably don't know that Nepal has major power outages, called load shedding, which at their worst are up to 16 hours per day. In case you have trouble with math as I do, this means that at times there is only power for 8 hours a day, with many of those hours in the middle of the night when you don't need power anyway. Can you imagine how you would function under these conditions, never mind a country! Thankfully there is a schedule as to when there will be no power although it isn't always accurate and is always changing.

I remember load shedding being a shock to the system when I first got to Nepal in 2009. Even though I had probably read about it in the orientation manual, I had no idea what it would mean in terms of day to day life. Living in a house with 10 other people is challenging enough without there being power issues as well. We ate by candlelight, washed dishes by candlelight and at times showered by candlelight. With no TV in the house and no internet we were forced to sit and talk to eachother. Imagine that! It was so much apart of life that over time we simply adjusted. In the end I think it became one of the most endearing experiences we had in Nepal and one that we would never forget.

So this time I expected it, and for the most part have rolled with it, with perhaps the exception being my hair. Last time I had long hair so having no power wasn't so much a big deal. This time having the ol' Boy Cut has been much more of a liability because drying and straightening it is pretty much a necessity. Otherwise it looks God awful. So in the morning before I even open my eyes, I reach over and check to see if the lights work. If they're on I bolt out of bed and into the shower to get the routine on the go, most importantly drying and straightening. Sometimes I make it, and other times not even close. Since I've been here this time I've had the lights go out in the shower (which leads to a FML comment), other times while I'm drying my hair (likely to produce a FML if I've just started) aaaand other times when I am just about to straighten it. I usually refrain from the FML on these occasions as my hair is at least dry and not prone to as much curly frizz. So anyway it can be a challenge for a girl who is hair vain, but more importantly you can imagine how difficult it is for a country (and economy) to function on such little power. The laundry places in Thamel charge twice as much if you want your clothes the same day as it means they have to use a generator when the power is out. Shops that don't have batteries to keep the lights going don't do much business once it is dark as there is no light to draw people in. And on and on...It has huge implications for business. I learned this time that Nepal actually has the 2nd most hydro electric power capacity in the world next to Brazil, but with the political situation as it is (think Deepak and Raju) their resources haven't been developed. Quite a sad situation really and not one that will be easily rectified.

Well that surely was the biggest tangent ever out of any of my blogs! Back to Surendra..given that we had ventured into the topic of shady business, I took the opportunity to ask him what kind of criminal activities the gangs were into. He told me that the Nepali gangsters aren't into human or drug trafficking, and instead are involved in things like real estate schemes and smuggling. He gave an example of his peeps smuggling a type of wood (something more valuable than sandalwood) from India to China from which they apparently made millions of rupees.

As I said it's clear that Surendra will still be involved in some of these activities once he is out, but according to him it will be indirectly. His name and connections are probably his greatest assets which is evident by the "work" he can do even from prison. He gave me another example of an "auntie" of his who has asked for his help to get some money back that she has lent someone. He told me that if he agreed to help he would send some people to meet the person and have him sign a document signing over certain property to the auntie if he didn't pay up. Not surprisingly Surendra didn't focus on the fact that violence could be used to elicit some cooperation but I'm no dummy, that's clearly possible. So whether he is in or out of prison he would be the person making the calls, utilizing his connections and making things happen. I told him again that I worried about this and that he could end up back in jail quite easily if he continued with the gangster lifestlyle. But there's nothing more that I can do..the rest is up to him.

That led me to ask him how a boy who looked so sweet and innocent in the picture that I saw, got invovled with gangs and this lifestlyle. He told me that when he was in college (I was wrong about his education as I previously wrote that he only had grade 10) he met a lot of people, and clearly some who were bad influences. For years he pretty much stayed away from home partyin er' up. Then at one point it sounds like he was apart of a big brawl which got him a reputation and the rest is history. What's the lesson in this parents? Don't send your kids to college! Haha just kidding of course! But it goes to show that it doesn't take much for a kid to take the wrong path in life because from what I have seen and heard, Surendra comes from a good, hard working family.

Then when he was about 19 the murder happened after which he fled to India and went into hiding for a few months. Turns out he's been to Bangalore! Three months after returning to Nepal he was arrested and has been in prison ever since after receiving a 20 year sentence. I asked him if any of his "brothers" have ended up in jail along with him, and apart from one guy who had a small case years ago, he's been the only one. He hopes that his boyz will be there for him when he gets out but will have to wait and see.

Surendra told me that he had enjoyed our visits and was clearly disappointed that I was leaving. He hadn't had many visitors since his last girlfriend went and got married which makes for some boring days. As I already mentioned he talked a lot about me coming back when he is out and showing me the real Kathmandu. By the sounds of it we would have the red carpet rolled out for us with cars arranged and such. I joked with him that I wasn't sure I wanted to be a part of that given there could be a target on his back, but he didn't seem concerned (probably because we'd have protection if you know what I mean). Anyway, it sounds like he really hopes for a chance to be able to hang out with a friend on the outside one day. He also mentioned that if I wasn't leaving he could have arranged a day outing where we could have gone to eat somewhere, in a low profile location of course, to talk freely and just hang out. He's allowed these kinds of outings as part of his guard facilities (privileges) which he told me could be arranged within 15 minutes. Well with me leaving the day after next that wouldn't be happening this time. But he is definitey looking forward to my next visit which he hopes will be next year when he is out. We'll see about that...

With a genuine hug between friends of 3 years, I said goodbye to Surendra, my Nepali gangster buddy. I know it is really hard for people to understand why I would want anything to do with a murderer, gangster and inmate. Part of it is what he teaches me about things that fascinate me, part is his personality and charm as he is really great to talk to, and I think the other is my ability to seperate people from their crime, which I feel is only one aspect of who they are. I know Surendra has and will likely continue to do some bad things, whch I don't agree with. But there are some good things about him too, one being that he has been only a gentleman and good friend to me. I never like the idea of losing contact with people that I connect with or care about, maybe because of the losses I've had in my life, who I am as a person, or a bit of both. Surendra is one person that I include in this category as he has been someone memorable in my life, and I hope to follow his to know how it turns out. And now that I have this blog, I'll be sure to share it with all of you!

After that goodbye I headed over to Proscovia's prison where the usual group of Debbie Downer guards sat doing nothing as usual. Seeing their miserable faces is enough to make anyone depressed I tell ya. As per usual it was super busy and loud so I could tell right away that it was going to be a short visit.

Proscovia appeared showing off a lavender coloured tank which she knew I would love as it had been mine. I was happy to see that it fit and that she liked it but told her that she better scarf 'er up cuz she was hanging out all over the place and that kind of thing doesn't fly in Nepal!

Once the smile from her greeting faded I could see the sadness and anxiety in her face. I don't remember seeing that before, at least to this degree. I knew we wouldn't have much time so started to show her a few last things that I had brought, including some more clothes. She shared her own gifts for me as well; knitted items that she had been working on since my arrival including slippers, and my favourite, a bouquet of brightly coloured wool flowers which will brighten up my office at work and remind me of her and our friendship.

Back to my bag..I pulled out her favourite grape drink that she was getting for the last time, a savoury chicken roll from Hot Breads Bakery, flip flops that I had fixed for her, and some postcards for her to send to Nicole and her uncle at some point. There was also a card for her. I had gone looking for a card to leave for her, wanting something inspirational to give her strength in the future when she was feeling low. Well would you believe in a little store in Kathmandu I found a postcard with a picture of Nelson Mandela! On it I noted that Mandela himself had spent 27 years in prison and that for much of that time he had only received one visitor and one letter every 6 months. I also wrote that I hoped seeing his face, remembering his will to survive and all that he accomplished afer his release would give her the strength to persevere as well.

Judging by her reaction I think that this card may have been the most important gift that I gave Proscovia during my time there. Seeing his face on that postcard immediately brought tears to her eyes that just wouldn't stop. I don't know what was going through her mind as she couldn't talk, and I too was moved to tears seeing her emotion. We didn't have to say anyting though really; I think it was obvious that it brought to the surface the reality of her situation, so similar to what a great man went through, a man that has meant so much to Africa, the world, and I suspect, her.

There really wasn't much of a visit otherwise as it was so short and we had business to tend to. She had written many letters and postcards for me to send for her, to Nicole, her uncle, and Basecamp friends. I told her that I would send Nicole something from her along with the letter, as well as letters of encouragement before her exams, both which led to a big smile.

As per usual the guard called her last name "Kasumba!!" when our time was up and which Proscovia tried to ignore, also as per usual. The calls continued and got more impatient so we finally relented and made our way out to have the dreaded goodbye. The guard let us hug but it wasn't long and drawn out and instead more like a bandaid being pulled off fast rather than slow.

After that I had to stand and wait for her many letters to be read while she stood behind the gate trying to talk as long as she could. The guards seemed uncomfortable with me hanging around and eventualy ushered me out without the letters. And just like that she was out of sight..for how long, I don't know. I walked down the dirt road alone with my thoughts and back to security to pick up her letters. I had no idea where the letters had gone or why as I had never had to do this before. Before long my Didi appeared with the letters marked "ok" in red, evidence they had been checked by someone. I was happy to have found the letters as nobody had been able to explain to me what was going on. I was also happy to see her before I left. I told her in Nepali that I was leaving the next day and I'm pretty sure that she responded with a "good journey" more or less :) And while snacking on some popcorn that she had picked up while on the errand, she and her escort, a female police guard, strolled back to the jail.

After picking up my belongings for the last time I walked out of the Nepali prison where two of my friends live. I don't know when, but I will for sure be back, and I already can't wait!

The pictures below were taken in 2009 (as you can tell from my hair) :) and include the entrance to the prison as well as a picture of Surendra and I. He looks a lot different now but this will at least  give you a visual!