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Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Karuna Around the World-SE Asia

After a few weeks back in Nepal I flew to Bangkok to meet my best friend Corrine for 3 weeks of travelling through Cambodia. What a learning experience that was; I'm embarrassed to say that before that trip I knew almost nothing about the Khmer and the genocide that happened in Cambodia not so long ago. That topic is perhaps for another post..

After Corrine left I stuck around in Cambodia for another week. While in Phnom Phen I asked around about visiting a prison but was told by locals that only family could visit. So I didn't take it any further. Strike 2, although it wasn't anything as disappointing as Strike 1.

Then I went to Vietnam and was told the same thing there. I wasn't surprised to hear this in Vietnam though given that it's a communist country. I didn't think they would be the most open about foreigners snooping about. Strike 3.

Well, there would be no giving up.

After a 3 week tour and a final week on my own in Vietnam, I returned to Bangkok, Thailand with the main purpose of visiting a prisoner there. I had already read about the infamous Bangkwang Prison, of which many books had been written, mainly because of horrible prison conditions and horrific treatment of prisoners. Bangkwang was so famous that it had actually been listed in the Lonely Planet guidebook as something to do while in Bangkok. Quite strange. I wasn't so focused on Bangkwang but wanted to visit at least one prison while there given that was the reason I had come back.

Knowing that visiting prisons was a more common thing to do in Bangkok and having the Lonely Planet tip of contacting an embassy to arrange it, I emailed the Canadian Embassy while I was in Vietnam to see if there were any incarcerated Canadians that I could visit. Within no time I received an email suggesting that I visit Adrian, a Dutch-Canadian prisoner at Bangkwang, and including the information that I needed to see him.

I can remember the pressure of having a small window of opportunity to visit that day, as well as the feat that it was to get there and manouver the entry process. The main mode of transportation in Bangkok is by ferry which takes you up and down the river running through the city. So I first took the ferry, then once at my stop wandered around bewildered until I gave up and hired a rickshaw to take me to the prison. Well of course it turned out to literally be around the corner from the ferry stop. So got ripped off on that transaction but whatever..I was there!

I stood across the street taking the picture that you are seeing now, enthralled as I always am with prisons, and amazed that I was there. I had made it before visiting hours so sat down in an outdoor waiting area with a small group of people who seemed to be having some sort of prayer session while they waited. Didn't join in on that party...
 

Nothing was written in English so I sat and hoped that I was in the right place. The wicket eventually opened after which I was sent to another area where I had to fill out a piece of paper and wait for the visit to be approved. That seemed to be quite a process so I was a bit anxious that I was going to be turned away. But eventually I got my approval and went on my way.

I don't remember much about the security process after that to be honest except that it was really confusing and that I felt like an idiot not understanding a thing. I swear nobody spoke English in that prison. After a series of checkpoints and bars, I ended up in a visiting area, which was very modern and consisted of a U shaped building with many many stations where visitors sat with a phone, separated by glass with the inmates on the other side. There was no privacy between the stations so everyone could see eachother. I waited forever for Adrian to arrive and was uncertain whether he was even coming as there were no guards around to explain anything. Thankfully an English speaking foreign missionary told me where to sit, that Adrian was coming and so on. So I waited.

Adrian finally appeared and presented as a tall, thin white guy probably in his late 40s with greyish hair and glasses. Totally the guy next door. What has stuck with me about this visit was how Adrian presented. From the moment he appeared he was just such a happy, good natured guy, smiling, joking and talking constantly. By this time he had been in prison for about 8 years. He had had some foreign visitors before; the Lonely Planet disciples, which he didn't complain about, because who wouldn't be happy to escape the boredom and loneliness of being in a foreign prison. But he was intuitive enough to know that they were there for the prison experience rather than out of concern for him. He was like an animal on display in a zoo.

So I explained to him why I was there, that I had visited inmates before and why. And then we just talked...

Adrian's story goes that he was living in Bangkok with his Thai girlfriend in the home of a friend (another foreigner). He openly admitted that he and his friend were both into selling drugs and that one day there was a raid and a whole lot of Ecstasy was found. He and his girlfriend were charged whereas the friend went free. Adrian explained the story with some amusement; in that although he was in fact selling drugs, that that day they weren't actually his. Let's just say his "friend" didn't own up to the drugs being his and Adrian and his girlfriend were eventually convicted. I can't remember the exact sentence but it was something like 10-12 years.

Because of the business he was in and the resulting risk that he was taking, he seemed somewhat accepting of his fate. However, what was clear was that he felt deeply remorseful about his girlfriend being convicted as well. He knew that she didn't have the same rights or opportunity for release as he did being a foreigner, and vowed that once he was out he was going to try and get her out too.

Speaking of getting out, he was working on it with both the Canadian and Dutch embassies given that he had dual citizenship. He told me that it was going to be faster to get sent back to Holland so he was going to go with that plan, but that he preferred to live in Canada and once he was back in Holland would work on that. We also talked about the fact that drug laws were so liberal in Holland that he probably wouldn't have even been locked up had he been caught there. There certainly would be no repercussions for him once he was released and sent back there.
 
Adrian raved about how amazing of a support the Canadian Embassy had been to him, visiting regularly, bringing him food, clothes, and being an emotional support. He actually credited the Embassy with saving his life. The reason being was that he had cancer and with the poor medical treatment in prison he had gone for a long time without being diagnosed. It was the Embassy that pressured the prison to have him checked which led to the cancer diagnosis and treatment. From what I recall he wasn't out of the woods yet in terms of his cancer, but was incredibly positive about his situation.

We talked about Bangkwang; by this time he had been there about 8 years. He confirmed some things that I had heard, such as prisoners having to wear leg chains for the first year, major corruption and beatings by guards. He told me that the Southeast Asians (those from Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos) were treated the worst by the guards, sadly, because they have no power. Adrian told me that he himself had not been mistreated and I remember him almost being flippant about it. What I mean by that is that he scoffed at the possibility, stating that they knew that if they touched him the Embassy would be on them so fast, that they would never get away with it. Just another example of the privileges that come along with being Canadian.

It was a really great visit; we laughed, joked, he was easy to talk to, and just a jovial, positive guy. I can still picture his smile and how lit up he was when he talked. He was very thankful that I had come, and I left with an email address to the prison to drop him a line. After saying goodbye I made my way to the prison store to pick out some food supplies for him. The system there was really high tech; you basically picked out the items, paid for them after which they delivered them to Adrian, just like a flower delivery here! I did wonder if it was a sham and whether the stuff would actually get to him, although I had no choice but to go along with it. And so after doing that, and I remember spending a long time in there carefully picking out my items, making sure that I was getting him things that would last, I made my way back through the maze out of the prison. I remember feeling so elated after leaving. It was the accomplishment of actually getting there and visiting with Adrian, and then for it to have been such an enjoyable and enlightening visit.
  
I did write to Adrian after my visit, but never heard back. Honestly, I don't know whether my letter even got to him, which I feel bad about as I wanted him to know that it wasn't just a random, "animal in a cage" type of visit for me. I wanted him to know that I did think of him, and wonder how his health was. Also whether he ended up returning to Holland, or reuniting with his girlfriend. But I guess I'll never know...
 

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Karuna Around the World..Strike 1, India






It was the prison system in Nepal and my relationships with inmates living within it that led to a resolution, a resolution that wherever I travelled in the world I would attempt to visit a foreign prisoner. The purpose being to brighten their day and make life a little easier, whether it was bringing them food or supplies, sending off an email to a loved one back home, or just breaking up the monotony of their day.
 

After leaving Nepal in March 2009 I headed to India where I had booked a tour of the South. After the 3 week tour, which was excellent, I headed off on my own to Goa, a coastal paradise. There the plan was to meet up with my friend and fellow volunteer from Nepal, Allison. Plus, I had done some research before going and learnt that there was a prison in the area. So I planned to take my chances at visiting.
 

Well, looking back it was a dumb idea. I should have known that the completely open prison system that I had experienced in Nepal was not so in other countries. In Nepal (at that time), anyone could simply show up, look at a list of foreign prisoners on the wall and pick who they wanted to see. So I expected that it would be that easy in India as well.
 

Luckily the place where I would be meeting Allison was close by the prison. After finding a hotel I hired a taxi and off we went. On the way I stopped at a little store and picked up some basic things to give to the person who I expected to meet such as toiletries and some snacks.
 

We drove along the beautiful coast and arrived at a stone, fort-like prison on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was so bizarre that a prison had been built in such a beautiful place. I remember thinking that apart from the fact that these prisoners were locked up, they sure were lucky to have such an amazing view!
 
I had a really good taxi driver; a young guy who spoke good English, and bless his heart he went and talked to the military type guards that were standing at the entrance of the prison. I knew it didn't look good when I noticed the visiting hours posted on the gate, and I wasn't there on one of those days. On top of that I learnt that only family members could visit, so it didn't even matter that it wasn't a visiting day. It was pretty clear that there was no Canadian girl charm that was going to get me in, so disappointed and dejected I left with my bag of goodies, all bought for nothing.

 
I think the taxi driver felt bad that I had hired him for nothing, so on the way back he played tour guide, taking me to a fort that was popular with tourists. I had no desire to tour this fort after the failed prison visit but went along with it given how kind he was being. The pictures are the prison and scenery on the way.


So India was a bust...









Sunday, 9 September 2012

Hygiene in India


I miss India. I've missed it since the day I left for Nepal, even though I was over the moon excited to be going back to see my friends and favourite places again. There's just something about India that makes me yearn for it and which prompts me to write about it again.
 
My most recent trip to India was my third. I'm often asked "why would you want to go there?!`` People just don't get it. Unfortunately many people still have the perception that India is nothing but dirty, polluted and overpopulated. Now sure, India can be those things depending on where you go, but I hope from my pictures that one can see the beauty of the country; not only in terms of the landscape, but also the culture, customs, traditions and people (minus stalkers) which makes this country so amazing. I can admit that it isn't for everyone, but for me it's a fascinating place that can both overwhelm and stimulate your senses, that provides non-stop learning about a different world and life and which makes you think differently about your own.
 
 
I'm going to try and give you a glimpse of India as I see it; the endearing, unique, odd, and fascinating things about India....
 
Well, why not start with the ol' butt hose! Now the butt hose isn't unique to India, as I have vivid memories of freezing my ass off (literally) when I used it in Nepal. Seriously, that water was as cold as if it had come from the Antarctic (although in all actuality it was probably from the highest point of the Himalayas). Now imagine getting a high pressured spray up the ol" arse with that!! As my mother would say....."BITCH!!" Sorry if that's too graphic, but you should know by now that this blog is not so PG.
 
 
Ok so the deal is, Indians don't use toilet paper. In the little suburb of Mysore where my homestay was, no toilet paper could be found. You literally had to take a bus into the city or another suburb where tourists live to buy it. Instead, they spray and drip dry. Now, in my opinion, the butt hose plus toilet paper is a better idea to ensure you don't walk away with a wet crotch, but hey, it works for them. And personally, I love it.! It may put some plumbers out of work here in North America if it caught on, with all those plugged lines from the 4 ply toilet paper that we use, but I think we should give it a try. I'm not too shy to admit that I can't wait to get hosed on my next trip :)

Well that's a good segue into talking about squat toilets. Nothing scares tourists in India more than toilets; specifically squat toilets. I don't think I need to explain what those are. Now granted, if you're the type that likes to take the ol`National Geographic to the can and sit for a half hour, then the squat isn't for you, but otherwise, I would say it rocks! Once again, it's very hygienic. I think we can all agree that sitting on a toilet seat is a bad idea no matter where you are in the world. And when you put toilet paper down on the seat it always falls off (plus there is none in India). And finally, squatting over the toilet is just plain hard to do.

With the squat you can get down on the ol' haunches and giver like you're from Swan River. And, once again, it's very hygienic cuz you're not touching anything. Now, for girls, trying not to pee on yourself can certainly be a challenge. That I will admit. Especially when you're on a moving train that's rocking from side to side while you're grabbing on to a hand rail (that you need to sanitize your hand from a few times after finishing) and trying to get it in the hole that leads to the train tracks that you're watching go by as you do your business. Now that's an entertaining visual for you I'm sure, and just as entertaining for the person involved I can assure you. It's kinda like being on a Bucking Bronco. Bottom line is that I still love the squat.

Now I'm not quite done with the bathroom because the other unique thing about India is the bucket shower. Unlike Canada where we are privileged to have (in our minds), an unlimited amount of water, Indians aren't so lucky. First of all the demand for water is huge with a population of more than a billion people. And some areas, like Northern Karnataka, barely have any. So they have to conserve water in any way they can.

For those that have their own home and water supply (I say that because millions don't have that luxury either), the common practice is to use the actual shower space to "shower" but not via free falling water like we are used to. Rather they fill a bucket of water and rinse themselves off with it using a measuring cup.

Now I reallllly love showering..it's surely one of my favourite things. So I wasn't the most excited about showering for months with a bucket. Well I'm proud to admit that I adapted easily and grew to appreciate it, also taking pride in that I didn't even need a full bucket. Really, as long as I have hot water I'm good. I can admit that I have gone back to a "normal" shower back in Canada but, I am always mindful of water and try and use as little as possible. So if you see someone giving you the evil eye in a public washroom for running water while you're busy doing something else, it's likely me!!

So, that pretty much covers toileting and shower issues. I'm certainly not done with India yet though...and with Pumpkin Spice Lattes being in season at Starbucks, there will sure to be more to come. It's great to be back!

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Education is Key

Last night I went to a birthday party for Shiva at the place where he worships (when he is in Winnipeg, which isn't often). I kinda figured he was celebrating a big number but knew that he would never advertise it. He didn't even want people to know that it was his birthday.

So part of the Indian wedding crew went, with Jose and I arriving first. Arriving minutes before the program started I was in a rush to get in, bounding up the stairs to get in and seated. Well leave it to me to almost commit an embarrassing faux pas by number one, not taking my shoes off before entering, and two, nearly going through the men's door. It felt like I was in India again with those kinds of rituals to be mindful of. I wasn't thinking that I would need to do that in Winnipeg.

So down I sat in the chairs arranged on the women's side. Jose went off to sit on the men's. Shiva was sitting on the floor in the middle and was decked out in a traditional robe similar to what the guys wore for the wedding. It was great to see him after so long..his smile is so bright!

In front of us was a big picture of the man they worship, whose most recognizable feature is his wild afro. The music and chanting started and I took it all in. Diana and Sanjeev arrived sometime after with Diana coming over to my side and Sanjeev going to join Jose.. I was actually enjoying the songs until Diana read the board at the front and told me that we were on song 7 of 15. I have to admit that I said a "FML" to myself at that point :)

A woman behind us then handed us one of the books where you can follow along with the chants. Lovely I thought, now we can sing along with them! Not! Bless her heart, each song the lady next to me would take the book and flip to the right page for us. What a great help she was :) Finally Shiva, his wife and daughter got up and waved some candles around during a song so that added some excitement. And then the songs were over..phew.

It was at this point that we learnt that it was actually Shiva's 60th birthday.His wife came up to the mic and emceed the rest of the program which included several speeches about Shiva. It is because of the stories that I am writing today as his story is truly an inspiration and speaks to how education is the number one thing that can change one's life.. and dramatically at that. It also speaks to how far motivation and perserverance can take a person.

As Shiva and I were travelling through Northern Karnataka he told me his life story so a lot of what I heard that night wasn't new. But I am the type that always loses the details of stories leaving me with only the gist. So the speeches were a nice refresher of an amazing success story that I would like to share with you.

Shiva was born in a small, remote village in Northern Karnataka, India. The village was described in the speeches as the most backward of the backward. We're talking primitive conditions. His parents were both orphans and labourers. The family was very poor and there was typically little food. Hunger was the norm, and even having clothing was rare. There were many children with Shiva being one of the youngest. At 5 he was left at home to care for his 2 younger siblings (2 and 1) while his parents worked in the fields. Can you imagine a 5 year old feeding, bathing and caring for 2 toddlers? Well at that age Shiva figured out that if he took them to the village school they could get milk (from powder) that they would give to the children. He wasn't there to go to school, only as a means to get milk. Sometime later he decided that he too wanted to go to school, which as a bonus provided meals, and so he went, along with his siblings, to school.

I should add that at the age of 5 Shiva was married off to a girl of the same age. This is very common in villages in India, even today. It wasn't as if they would truly be married as in "his bride" coming to live with him and his family with them eventually being man and wife. But it was set for the future with there most likely being some economic significance to the reunion. Well a year later Shiva's bride died, which Shiva has said, saved him from having to provide for her the rest of his life. It was of course a sad ending for her, but freedom for him.

Then as a young child his father died. I don't know exactly when but it happened some time around the time he was to go to high school, which his village did not have. Kids this age would need to pay to attend a boarding school somewhere else in the State if they wanted to go further with their education, and his family, especially now without his father, certainly couldn't afford that.

At his father's funeral was a priest that had come from another village. Despite just losing his father, Shiva saw this priest and took it as an opportunity for freedom..an education. In India as a sign of great respect for someone you touch their feet. Well Shiva not only touched his feet, it was said that he grabbed on to them begging the priest to take him with him so he could go to school. He didn't let go until the priest agreed. His mother certainly couldn't say no to the priest and so despite I'm sure, it being a further hardship for her, she let him go.

For years he lived with the priest, who Shiva told me, treated him well, as he continued his education. After leaving the priest's home, he continued on in boarding schools where he secured scholarships to attend. Fellow classmates would give him extra food as what he received just wasn't enough. Because he hadn't had the formal education that others had, and had never had formal English education he also struggled academically, but received help from others in that area too. He learnt over time that he excelled in math so ventured off into the stream of statistics. He got a Bachelors, Masters, then was chosen to attend a speciailized demography program in Mumbai. Only a couple handful of students in India were chosen for this program and he was one of them after travelling to Mumbai to meet with the admissions person, essentially convincing him that he was the right person to choose). He was later chosen for an internship in Europe and later a PHd in Canada, all of which he got into, and/or got scholarships for, because of his determination, persistence and drive. He told me stories about going back so many times to try and convince an admissions person, and I can't remember which program, that he was essentially told not to return again to the point the secretary was notified not to let him in again. Did he listen? Absolutely not, and eventually that person relented, took a chance and let him into the program. I believe that was for his Masters, and the rest is history.

After getting his Phd, he became a professor at the U of M and in 5 years became a full professor. After years in the Sociology department he transferred over to the Faculty of Medicine where he has since found his niche. I've written about it before, but Shiva has since spearheaded multi million dollar programs in India related to HIV prevention, diagnosis and treatment, with the most marginalized population, sex workers, with funding by huge organizations like the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. He has travelled the world lecturing and offering his expertise and is nationally and internationally rrecognized. He now spends most of his time in India working on this project, as well as tons of others, including girls schools, cold storage to help poor farmers, and on and on. He puts in his own money for projects, raises money from others, connects people to facilitate other humanitarian projects and on and on. This man works tirelessly for the good of humanity.

And why this is so incredible is that he is the only one of his siblings who is literate never mind becoming a citizen of a country such as Canada and achieving the professional success he has. I visited his sister's village and home when I was travelling with him so saw firsthand where he came from, and what his life could have been. A rural life of farming to survive, with barely enough to do so. His sister produces onions which she sells to support herself. Animals being raised inside the home. No running water or plumbing. One light bulb used sparingly to light the home when absolutely needed. An open fire to cook in the home, coating one's lungs with smoke leading to respiratory problems and worse. A hard, hard life, with not much to look forward to and enjoy.

Shiva has not forgotten his roots, and how fortunate he was to have secured another life for himself. He has helped endless members of his family in various ways, one being education, knowing firsthand that that is the key to a better life. Despite his success and personal wealth he has great difficulty spending money on himself and is very frugal with his own. In India he probably lives on $2 a day. How he grew up is clearly never far from his mind.

I think his story is simply incredible; miraculous actually. That a man from such an impoverished and disadvantaged background could accomplish so much. When we talk and I hear about his life today, that I am so envious of, with his ability to travel the world, working on amazing projects, having cars and drivers, guesthouses to stay in and connections to incredible people and organizations, I try not to say to him, how lucky he is. Because when you know his story and how he got to where he is today, it really wasn't about luck. It truly was about his persistence,determination, and hard work to name a few of his fine qaulities. He deserves everything that he has, because HE made it happen, luck didn't.


Monday, 14 May 2012

Last Visits


Today was my last visit at the prison and not something I was looking forward to. As I often say, reunions are beautiful but goodbyes are a bitch.

On my last day with nothing to lose I strolled in like I owned the place, drifting effortlessly from one line to another and just asking any guard if I could go see Surendra. Luckily I got the classic head roll (which by the way I now expertly do myself) and off I went.

Looking squeaky clean as usual with a black t-shirt that showed off his many tattoos (and results of his daily morning workouts if you know what I mean), baggy jeans with a Diesel black studded belt and sneakers, Surendra was lookin good. I imagine my dad looking Surendra-ish when he was young as he too had a reputation for being a bad boy. Perhaps not to the same degree, but you can see where my liking for the bad boy types comes from :)

Anyway, shortly into our visit a woman came by to get Surendra as he had been called to go see the Jailer. He felt bad about leaving me alone and wanted to at least bring me a drink but I passed on the pop today after too many the night before (the pop just may have had a little something extra in it) :) I could tell that he didn't like the fact that I wasn't having something as he liked to be a good host. And he wasn't the only host in the bunch either. While I was sitting and waiting for Surendra, another inmate/guard who I knew from 2009 (also in for murder) came and offered me a drink as well. Not what you'd expect from "hardened criminals."

So there I sat on this beautiful day, reading a book in this lovely, peaceful prison environment. Quite an oxymoron isn't it..

After awhile I was almost ready to leave and head over to see Proscovia when Surendra returned looking a bit tense. This is a good time to note my observation that Indian/Nepalese people use the word "tension" instead of "stress." They also have the expression "don't take tension" which I love as it implies that one has the choice whether to get stressed out or not. I plan on trying it out once I'm back at work to see if it keeps the ol' blood pressure down and me calm in stressful situations!

Anyway back to Surendra...

Let me acknowledge in advance what you have probably already been thinking...that I can AT TIMES be a naive, gullible girl, who always wants to believe people. I say this because it is now clear that Surendra is still very much connected to his old ties and that this is probably never going to change. The story goes that good ol' Surendra did a little business recently for someone who was having some problems securing a land title. By making some calls (from prison) he was able to fix things and the land was theirs within days. For this he was to be paid 1 lakh Nepali rupees ($1250 Cdn). The cause for the tension was that he was supposed to receive his money that day but had just got word that they were only forwarding 10,000 rupees ($120)with the rest to come. He wasn't happy as he felt that he had done his part whereas they weren't being honest and were yanking his chain so to speak. What I also learnt from this conversation was that he hadn't gone to see the Jailer, but rather another prison staff, someone probably pretty high up, who is his "staff" and connection to the outside. The money would be delivered to this person who would pass it on to him. Craziness I tell ya!



I asked him what he was going to do with 1 lakh as that is a lot of money in Nepal. Well it sounds like he`ll buy some new shoes, jeans and anything else he wants. He also told me that he could call me in Canada as "money is not an issue." I didn't leave my number though as judging from how many times he called me in Nepal I could have had a lot of calls coming my way. And before you start thinking anything crazy..it is simply boredom that led to all the calls, nothing more.

Being the level headed, responsible social worker that I am, I expressed concern about him maintaining his old connections and being involved in criminal activities once he is out, relating it back to our previous conversation and his own worries about ending up back in jail. This time he talked honestly and realistically about his plans upon release saying that "his people" would finance him, and give him the means to start some type of business once out. There will be no 'job' for Surendra, and by that I mean working for someone else. Instead he's going to try and make a business for himself, he's not sure what yet, and if the business doesn`t fly, then that's just what he'll do. That led to a reminder about the deal we have about me owing him a drink in Canada :)

I told him that I had been asking around about Deepak (I actually had drinks with someone the night before who was tight with Deepak and could arrange a meeting, but you'll be happy to know that I declined). I`ve learned that Deepak isn`t much of a gangster anymore and that he now has enough money that he can dabble around in politics. Greeeaaat. So essentially there are no gangs controlling Thamel anymore which means that it's only the police that the illegal businesses have to pay off now. Double greeeeaaaat.

That got Surendra talking about his `brother" Raju who is the big boss of his gang and Deepak's old rival. Apparently Raju is now is a member of Congress in Nepal. Boy is just keeps gettin better doesn't it? The fact that gangsters are running this country is a pretty good indicator as to why my hair looks like crap some days. Let me explain...

Most people probably don't know that Nepal has major power outages, called load shedding, which at their worst are up to 16 hours per day. In case you have trouble with math as I do, this means that at times there is only power for 8 hours a day, with many of those hours in the middle of the night when you don't need power anyway. Can you imagine how you would function under these conditions, never mind a country! Thankfully there is a schedule as to when there will be no power although it isn't always accurate and is always changing.

I remember load shedding being a shock to the system when I first got to Nepal in 2009. Even though I had probably read about it in the orientation manual, I had no idea what it would mean in terms of day to day life. Living in a house with 10 other people is challenging enough without there being power issues as well. We ate by candlelight, washed dishes by candlelight and at times showered by candlelight. With no TV in the house and no internet we were forced to sit and talk to eachother. Imagine that! It was so much apart of life that over time we simply adjusted. In the end I think it became one of the most endearing experiences we had in Nepal and one that we would never forget.

So this time I expected it, and for the most part have rolled with it, with perhaps the exception being my hair. Last time I had long hair so having no power wasn't so much a big deal. This time having the ol' Boy Cut has been much more of a liability because drying and straightening it is pretty much a necessity. Otherwise it looks God awful. So in the morning before I even open my eyes, I reach over and check to see if the lights work. If they're on I bolt out of bed and into the shower to get the routine on the go, most importantly drying and straightening. Sometimes I make it, and other times not even close. Since I've been here this time I've had the lights go out in the shower (which leads to a FML comment), other times while I'm drying my hair (likely to produce a FML if I've just started) aaaand other times when I am just about to straighten it. I usually refrain from the FML on these occasions as my hair is at least dry and not prone to as much curly frizz. So anyway it can be a challenge for a girl who is hair vain, but more importantly you can imagine how difficult it is for a country (and economy) to function on such little power. The laundry places in Thamel charge twice as much if you want your clothes the same day as it means they have to use a generator when the power is out. Shops that don't have batteries to keep the lights going don't do much business once it is dark as there is no light to draw people in. And on and on...It has huge implications for business. I learned this time that Nepal actually has the 2nd most hydro electric power capacity in the world next to Brazil, but with the political situation as it is (think Deepak and Raju) their resources haven't been developed. Quite a sad situation really and not one that will be easily rectified.

Well that surely was the biggest tangent ever out of any of my blogs! Back to Surendra..given that we had ventured into the topic of shady business, I took the opportunity to ask him what kind of criminal activities the gangs were into. He told me that the Nepali gangsters aren't into human or drug trafficking, and instead are involved in things like real estate schemes and smuggling. He gave an example of his peeps smuggling a type of wood (something more valuable than sandalwood) from India to China from which they apparently made millions of rupees.

As I said it's clear that Surendra will still be involved in some of these activities once he is out, but according to him it will be indirectly. His name and connections are probably his greatest assets which is evident by the "work" he can do even from prison. He gave me another example of an "auntie" of his who has asked for his help to get some money back that she has lent someone. He told me that if he agreed to help he would send some people to meet the person and have him sign a document signing over certain property to the auntie if he didn't pay up. Not surprisingly Surendra didn't focus on the fact that violence could be used to elicit some cooperation but I'm no dummy, that's clearly possible. So whether he is in or out of prison he would be the person making the calls, utilizing his connections and making things happen. I told him again that I worried about this and that he could end up back in jail quite easily if he continued with the gangster lifestlyle. But there's nothing more that I can do..the rest is up to him.

That led me to ask him how a boy who looked so sweet and innocent in the picture that I saw, got invovled with gangs and this lifestlyle. He told me that when he was in college (I was wrong about his education as I previously wrote that he only had grade 10) he met a lot of people, and clearly some who were bad influences. For years he pretty much stayed away from home partyin er' up. Then at one point it sounds like he was apart of a big brawl which got him a reputation and the rest is history. What's the lesson in this parents? Don't send your kids to college! Haha just kidding of course! But it goes to show that it doesn't take much for a kid to take the wrong path in life because from what I have seen and heard, Surendra comes from a good, hard working family.

Then when he was about 19 the murder happened after which he fled to India and went into hiding for a few months. Turns out he's been to Bangalore! Three months after returning to Nepal he was arrested and has been in prison ever since after receiving a 20 year sentence. I asked him if any of his "brothers" have ended up in jail along with him, and apart from one guy who had a small case years ago, he's been the only one. He hopes that his boyz will be there for him when he gets out but will have to wait and see.

Surendra told me that he had enjoyed our visits and was clearly disappointed that I was leaving. He hadn't had many visitors since his last girlfriend went and got married which makes for some boring days. As I already mentioned he talked a lot about me coming back when he is out and showing me the real Kathmandu. By the sounds of it we would have the red carpet rolled out for us with cars arranged and such. I joked with him that I wasn't sure I wanted to be a part of that given there could be a target on his back, but he didn't seem concerned (probably because we'd have protection if you know what I mean). Anyway, it sounds like he really hopes for a chance to be able to hang out with a friend on the outside one day. He also mentioned that if I wasn't leaving he could have arranged a day outing where we could have gone to eat somewhere, in a low profile location of course, to talk freely and just hang out. He's allowed these kinds of outings as part of his guard facilities (privileges) which he told me could be arranged within 15 minutes. Well with me leaving the day after next that wouldn't be happening this time. But he is definitey looking forward to my next visit which he hopes will be next year when he is out. We'll see about that...

With a genuine hug between friends of 3 years, I said goodbye to Surendra, my Nepali gangster buddy. I know it is really hard for people to understand why I would want anything to do with a murderer, gangster and inmate. Part of it is what he teaches me about things that fascinate me, part is his personality and charm as he is really great to talk to, and I think the other is my ability to seperate people from their crime, which I feel is only one aspect of who they are. I know Surendra has and will likely continue to do some bad things, whch I don't agree with. But there are some good things about him too, one being that he has been only a gentleman and good friend to me. I never like the idea of losing contact with people that I connect with or care about, maybe because of the losses I've had in my life, who I am as a person, or a bit of both. Surendra is one person that I include in this category as he has been someone memorable in my life, and I hope to follow his to know how it turns out. And now that I have this blog, I'll be sure to share it with all of you!

After that goodbye I headed over to Proscovia's prison where the usual group of Debbie Downer guards sat doing nothing as usual. Seeing their miserable faces is enough to make anyone depressed I tell ya. As per usual it was super busy and loud so I could tell right away that it was going to be a short visit.

Proscovia appeared showing off a lavender coloured tank which she knew I would love as it had been mine. I was happy to see that it fit and that she liked it but told her that she better scarf 'er up cuz she was hanging out all over the place and that kind of thing doesn't fly in Nepal!

Once the smile from her greeting faded I could see the sadness and anxiety in her face. I don't remember seeing that before, at least to this degree. I knew we wouldn't have much time so started to show her a few last things that I had brought, including some more clothes. She shared her own gifts for me as well; knitted items that she had been working on since my arrival including slippers, and my favourite, a bouquet of brightly coloured wool flowers which will brighten up my office at work and remind me of her and our friendship.

Back to my bag..I pulled out her favourite grape drink that she was getting for the last time, a savoury chicken roll from Hot Breads Bakery, flip flops that I had fixed for her, and some postcards for her to send to Nicole and her uncle at some point. There was also a card for her. I had gone looking for a card to leave for her, wanting something inspirational to give her strength in the future when she was feeling low. Well would you believe in a little store in Kathmandu I found a postcard with a picture of Nelson Mandela! On it I noted that Mandela himself had spent 27 years in prison and that for much of that time he had only received one visitor and one letter every 6 months. I also wrote that I hoped seeing his face, remembering his will to survive and all that he accomplished afer his release would give her the strength to persevere as well.

Judging by her reaction I think that this card may have been the most important gift that I gave Proscovia during my time there. Seeing his face on that postcard immediately brought tears to her eyes that just wouldn't stop. I don't know what was going through her mind as she couldn't talk, and I too was moved to tears seeing her emotion. We didn't have to say anyting though really; I think it was obvious that it brought to the surface the reality of her situation, so similar to what a great man went through, a man that has meant so much to Africa, the world, and I suspect, her.

There really wasn't much of a visit otherwise as it was so short and we had business to tend to. She had written many letters and postcards for me to send for her, to Nicole, her uncle, and Basecamp friends. I told her that I would send Nicole something from her along with the letter, as well as letters of encouragement before her exams, both which led to a big smile.

As per usual the guard called her last name "Kasumba!!" when our time was up and which Proscovia tried to ignore, also as per usual. The calls continued and got more impatient so we finally relented and made our way out to have the dreaded goodbye. The guard let us hug but it wasn't long and drawn out and instead more like a bandaid being pulled off fast rather than slow.

After that I had to stand and wait for her many letters to be read while she stood behind the gate trying to talk as long as she could. The guards seemed uncomfortable with me hanging around and eventualy ushered me out without the letters. And just like that she was out of sight..for how long, I don't know. I walked down the dirt road alone with my thoughts and back to security to pick up her letters. I had no idea where the letters had gone or why as I had never had to do this before. Before long my Didi appeared with the letters marked "ok" in red, evidence they had been checked by someone. I was happy to have found the letters as nobody had been able to explain to me what was going on. I was also happy to see her before I left. I told her in Nepali that I was leaving the next day and I'm pretty sure that she responded with a "good journey" more or less :) And while snacking on some popcorn that she had picked up while on the errand, she and her escort, a female police guard, strolled back to the jail.

After picking up my belongings for the last time I walked out of the Nepali prison where two of my friends live. I don't know when, but I will for sure be back, and I already can't wait!

The pictures below were taken in 2009 (as you can tell from my hair) :) and include the entrance to the prison as well as a picture of Surendra and I. He looks a lot different now but this will at least  give you a visual!

Saturday, 28 April 2012

More Prison Education


Every time I go to the prison I learn more and more and I love it!

Today I walked up and saw the same huge group of people outside that I had seen last time. This time I realized that it was actually a line up that I had unknowingly bypassed last time. Oops! But with only two visits left and minimal risk of having my visiting privileges cut, in addition to the guards now knowing me, today I confidently walked past the long line up and with a "dai" (meaning brother and a sign of respect) and a gesture to the guard that I wanted to go through, I easily slipped through. I felt no guilt. I then walked past the huge line of women waiting to go through to security and with another "dai" and perhaps a little smile, slipped into that line as well. Maybe I shouldn't be advertising this, but I felt no guilt about that either :)

The stars were aligned today because I after that I ran into the guard who had arranged the first visit with Surendra. I figured there was no harm in asking so did just that, asked if I could go see him again. I had called Surendra at the jail that morning to let him know that I was coming and to watch for me because I wasn't confident they would let me go on my own. The guard told me that Surendra had already come by looking for me, then picked up his walkie talkie and within seconds Surendra was there to pick me up. As we walked away I got another "don't stay too long" from the guard which I'm pretty sure is just for show as there is never any follow up to their warnings. Well two can play that game so I said "yah sure" and we were on our way for a visit that was surely not going to be short.

Once at the private visiting area Surendra dusted off my seat for me before I sat. It is these little things that I find so interesting; meaning this cold blooded murderer's human side. He is kind, caring, well mannered, well spoken, and a good conversationalist. I so enjoy chatting with him and over some Pringle chips and pop we did just that.

Not surprisingly we talked a lot about prisons given that I'm fascinated with them and he of course lives in one. Beyond that though, Surendra has his own curiosities about prisons and likes to watch prison movies so he can see the differences in prisons in the West. What he sees may not be completely accurate of course but he knows enough to know that there are big differences, especially in terms of drugs and violence which are such big problems in the West. He told me that when foreigners first come to prison there they are pretty uptight and act tough as they expect that the prison environment to be conflictual and violent. But then within a couple days they realize that it is actually a peaceful environment which is friendly, helpful, and like a brotherhood. These are Surendra's words not mine, but from what I have seen and heard over the years I would agree.

That led to me asking his thoughts on why there is such a difference between the prison system in Nepal versus the West. His take is that in the Nepali system the inmates run the prison which inmates respond to as it's a whole lot better than having to listen to the police. I would also add that in Nepal there seems to be an investment in keeping the environment peaceful and clean (in terms of drugs and such). Not to say that there haven't been incidents of violence, but they seem to be rare. Drugs aren't common either and Surendra, a guy that you would think would be all over using drugs in prison given his lifestyle and to cope with being locked up, told me that they don't want drugs inside. If someone is found with drugs they could be beaten after which they receive a punishment of 1-2 months of confinement as well as duties such as cleaning toilets. Surendra feels that it isn't the beatings that will change the behaviour, but rather the humiliation that inmates respond to. And remember that the punishments are doled out by the inmates and not the police as the inmates are the ones responsible for the functioning of the prison.

I also asked about sexual activity/violence in Nepal as in Western prisons there is a lot of sexual violence and need to protect vulnerable individuals as a result. Relationships between inmates are also common between inmates, including transgendered inmates who end up being partners of men who on the outside are straight. They deny being gay but explain it being a way of coping in jail. I should add that this information is courtesy of Lockup, my favourite TV show where they tour US prisons while interviewing staff and prisoners. Best show ever..check it out!!! Surendra said that this is simply not a part of their culture. He told me about a male inmate who he described as "a female inside" (which impressed me) that they transferred to the women's jail when the guards realized that she was psychologically a woman. In almost 10 years in prison that's the only such case that he was aware of.

I'm not going to present the Nepali prison system as perfect because it's far from it. There is so much corruption it's ridiculous, differential treatment depending on how much money you have and/or who you know, inadequate prison conditions/basic care of inmates. But in terms of general functioning, level of violence, unrest/conflict between inmates and guards, drugs and need for security, in my opinion the Nepali prison system is far superior to the West.

You might not care why I think the way I do, or for a more in-depth analysis of the Nepali prison system, but sorry, you're going to get it anyway! To me, part of it is culture as respect is paramount in Nepali culture and unlike English is built into their language; meaning there are different ways of speaking to someone younger or older and/or deserving of greater respect. Nepalese use the term brother/sister when speaking to or even referring to another person regardless of their position in society, feelings toward them etc. It's expected within their culture so the same goes in prison; respect is there.

There are also no race issues to contend with in Nepal; a major factor in the conflict and violence in the West. And as already mentioned the whole system of inmates running the prison seems to make a huuuge difference. I'm not sure whether a similar model could work in the West because of a variety of issues too long to get into here, but it might not be a bad idea to try it out in a low risk setting. Amber, why don't you propose it to Vinnie for a trial in Prince Albert?? :)

We also talked about gangs in Kathmandu given that Surendra has the inside scoop being a gangster himself. Years ago when I supervised the best unit ever at Metis, we called ourselves G-Unit cuz we were a bunch of wannabe gangsters (who were pretty much as far from it as possible). Well, this guy is the real deal. He's from Patan which is across the bridge from Kathmandu and more developed. Patan is also his gang's territory. We got talking about Thamel which is the tourist area in Kathmandu where I live and he told me that he when he was out he couldn't really come to Thamel as it is controlled by a rival gang with the leader being a guy named Deepak. Like the brothel area that I wrote about in India, there are lots of illegal dance bars, massage parlours and brothels in Thamel (where there are tourists, there are "services"). And just like in India the owners of these establishments have to pay the gangs and the police to stay open as well as for protection.

Surendra told me that occasionally he would come to Thamel during the day but never at night for his own safety. But one night he was with a girl who wanted to check out a bar in Thamel, he agreed and went with her after he had been drinking and with no weapon for protection. Well, sure enough, he had barely ordered a drink when he was attacked by rival gang members. Luckily the police showed up and he was able to get home without being more seriously injured. He told me that once home and not thinking rationally as he had been drinking he wanted to grab a weapon and return to retaliate. But his parents showed up, saw him all bloodied and prevented him from leaving.

He also talked about a time in 2003 or 2004 (whatever year Italy won the World Cup he said) when one of Deepak's right hand men ended up in jail. He was none too friendly to Surendra apparently, always staring him down nastily. Well, the tension built and one day a fight broke out between them. Surendra told me that he beat him with a table leg (showing me a table leg of where we were sitting as an example), and breaking his leg in the process. Apparently there were no further issues after that. But that said, he knows that he will have to watch out for this rival gang when he gets out. He has heard that there are plans for retaliation against him,and knows it is quite possible.

Perhaps it's not the best time to mention that Surendra very much wants to show me "the real Kathmandu" when he is out and I return. The good news is that I am welcome to bring friends!! Care to join?? And no worries, I think we'll stay clear of Thamel just to be safe.....literally!. :)

Friday, 20 April 2012

Chillin with Surendra


Sorry but I'm back to prison stories; as you can tell they're one of my favourite things to write about!

I walked to the prison with purpose today, to burn some calories! Nepal is turning me into a Fatty Patty pretty quick given that unlike India I'm not walking much and instead am visiting and eating all the time it seems.

So I selected some fast music on the ol' Ipod and away I went motoring despite being in flip flops. I wonder how my feet are going to handle being in closed shoes again after 5 months in sandals? The broken toe still isn't healed either so it could be a problem. Anyhoo, I'm off topic yet again..

Power walking is a real challenge in Nepal I have to say given that Nepali people are the sloooowest walking people I've ever encountered! A Nepali friend told me that it's because they have short legs, which is kinda true, but I still don't buy it as I do too and I can walk pretty darn fast. On the contrary the Nepalese saunter as if they have absolutely nowhere to go (for the next month) and it drives me batttty!!

As I walked I couldn't help but feel like I was in some Super Mario Brothers video game (showing my age there I know), winding around the slowpokes while at the same time dodging bicycles, taxis and rickshaws, people carrying things (almost got impaled when one guy came around a corner), then on to the sidewalk which is ever worse as there is even less space to manouver..up, down, up, down, from the street to the sidewalk I went. I'm sure I totally messed with their "system" as their pace is all exactly the same, tortoise.

Arriving at the prison I saw tons of people standing around and I thought, holy crap, I'm not staying if the crowds are worse than last time! But turns out those people were just hanging around outside and only a few people were actually in line. Phew! Then just as I got into the security line which only had a few women, I heard "bideshi" again from the same guard and a motion to go on to security. Rock on!! After that the process was smooth as silk.

When I strolled over to get stamped the guard didn't give me back my slip and instead motioned for me to go into the next room. There I found a room full of police and yep, they wanted me to come in and hang. So funny. So I sat and chatted with the boyz for a bit. The second in command was there and I think was trying to set me up with the guard that I had made friends with the first day. He pointed out that he was a good looking guy and asked what I thought of Nepali guys/police. I skirted around those questions easily by saying that some were ok and then focusing again on what witches the women were :) I was told that they're jealous of me.."because you're beauty." Seriously, can't we all just get along girls??

Thankfully I was saved by my buddy Surendra who must have been tipped off that I was there. I had planned to ask the boyz if I could go and visit him but then didn't need to as he showed up and asked for me. They had probably hoped for a longer chat but agreed and off I went!

And what a great visit we had! First out came the drinks which again he wouldn't let me pay for. He said that they were his treat here and that when he comes to Canada that it will be my turn. I was thinking, okay my friend, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't need to hold up my end of the bargain on that one!

We had a really good talk after that and I have to say that he really impressed me. Compared to 3 years ago he seems to have really matured. He talked with emotion about the nearly 10 years he had wasted in jail (which he described as a whole generation..pretty sure he meant decade) and how he had done nothing with his life. He turns 32 on May 26th. He quit drinking and has earned the trust of the guards with his good behaviour. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for him; only 11 more months to go (he only has to serve 10 years of his 20 year sentence) and he doesn't want anything to mess with that. He also realizes that his good behaviour has to continue once he gets out otherwise he will end up back in prison for another decade. He knows he is getting a second chance.

Surendra also knows that once released he will be watched closely by police, I thought because of who he killed. But it seems that it has more to do with his connections and the things they think he was involved with, and perhaps still now. In fact the head of police had been there that day which he believes was because of him. So Surendra stayed inside until he left. He was also asked for a copy of his ID which he believes is in preparation for when he gets out. Well I can tell you that I saw his ID and he was like 15 in the picture so I'm pretty sure it's not going to be of any help to them! He looked like such a sweet, innocent boy in the picture with a Newari hat. It was hard to believe that it was the same person, and that the boy in the picture's life could turn into what it had. Sad really.

Surendra told me that once out he would have to be super careful as he could easily be framed. He gave me an example that if one is caught with a revolver, the police can lay a bogus and more serious charge of possession of brown sugar (heroin). A charge like that could lead to another 10 year sentence and he certainly has no desire to lose another decade of his life.

All prisoners want out and have every intention of not coming back so Surendra's words were of no surprise. But I felt sincerity in what he was saying, in that he knows it is time to grow up, be responsible and try and make a life for himself. I asked him what he thought he could do workwise, as that will be one of the keys to him being successful I'm sure. He only has a 10th grade education but with his English could do something legit in Nepal with all its tourists. He offered up driving or sales as jobs that he thought he could do.

But coming to Canada is also in his thoughts. Call me a Debbie Downer but I felt that he needed to know that it may not be an option; mainly because of his criminal record, and secondly because Canada isn't too generous on the visa front. I know this firsthand, and have heard from many Nepalese as well that it is hard for them to secure visas to Canada compared to places like the UK and Australia.

Surendra had no such concerns though. He still has a passport (kinda scary huh?) and said that in Asia anything is possible; meaning with his connections, fake documents and such, that he can do it. I know you must be thinking, give your head a shake Crystal, listen to him and his criminal mind! Well, actually that's the norm here and everyone does it. Making fake documents seems to be a pretty essential part of the process if you want to do anything from getting a bank loan to getting out of the country. His family is currently paying big bucks to try and get his brother a visa to Canada so he knows about that process, but in true Surendra style he figures that marrying a Canadian girl is the way to go. You'll be happy to know that I've already made it clear that I will not be doing that for him :) I did offer up my friend Alison, who he quite likes, as an option though. So Alison-ji, if you're interested hit me up! :)

He does have connections though; that is very obvious. As we were chatting someone dropped off a stack of movies that he had ordered. I took a look and amongst some action flicks, found Beyonce, Rihanna and Katy Perry DVDs! I was laughing to myself about his choice in music until it clicked that they were music videos. Good ol' Surendra has great taste after all.

The movies are an example of how connected he is though and how he can pretty much get whatever he wants despite being in prison. Being a guard certainly gets him some of these privileges, but so does paying off the Jailer. I asked him what that looked like; meaning how does one pay off the Jailer, and with what? Just call me Lisa Ling :) I got the coy smile, shrug, the "you know," and an explanation about how he and the Jailer have a friendly chat followed by which he passes on some gifts. Some nice shoes, clothes, alcohol and so on.

Well imagine how much that Jerk gets with thousands of inmates, many of whom have no doubt become guards because they've paid him and/or others off. But, I was surprised to hear that it was the current Jailer's last day; that his term was over. So I guess Surendra and many others will need to start all over, buying off someone new. I sure hope that the new Jailer will at least change the rules back so that foreigners can have visitors. Fingers crossed..

Still on the topic of Surendra's privileges, he has a dog if you can believe that! And he's the only inmate that does which led to the question of how that worked? I got another smile :) There is so much to how this prison works, I am sure that the little I know barely scratches the surface. Anyway, he asked if I wanted to see his dog and I was like, sure! So off he went inside to bring out his dog and while I'm waiting I'm picturing what kind of dog this tattooed, bad boy inmate is going to have. I'm picturing a big, manly dog, something like the street dogs that you see. Then I see him heading towards me with this white and sandy brown little pomeranian-like dog..which was so funny to see, it just didn't fit. Up close "Joni" (who despite his English name only knows Nepali) sadly isn't the most attractive dog. He's got the weirdest teeth ever with the bottom teeth hanging out of his mouth. A face only an inmate could love. Poor thing... But he's a great companion for Surendra so that's nice for him.

After a relaxed and lovely visit with no time constraints or restrictions I went to visit Proscovia. Once again it was loud, super busy and as a result our visit was cut short. As my grandma would say" those buggers!" I was happy to hear that the clothes that I had given Proscovia fit her. She had a great time trying them on and an even better time once she realized that she could squeeze into them. I had just booked my flight for the following week so told her that there were only 2 more visits left. That wasn't great news as I know she is already dreading me leaving. The letters that I am typing for her say so. She writes about making use of the remaining time with me and her worries about what it is going to be like after I'm gone. Days have been busy for her in the last month with reading letters from friends, responding, reading the books I've given her, and waiting for my visits. Boredom and loneliness have not been apart of her life for at least a little while. For that I am happy.


Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A Much Needed Break From Kathmandu With My Saathi

I'm taking a break from blogging about prisons and instead will write about a lovely day that I had outside of Kathmandu today.

As you already know I first came to Nepal in 2009 to volunteer. I arrived at the beginning of January and was unpleasantly surprised to learn that it's frickin cold in Nepal at that time of year and that I would need a lot of gear in order to stay warm. I'm never very good at doing weather research before I go somewhere and often end up in a place in the worst season ever. Not only have I frozen my ass off in Nepal, but I've also gone to SE Asia and India in the hottest part of the year. I also chose to do a month of Spanish school in Cuzco, Peru, one of the highest cities around, which translates to colder than a witch's you know what. Anyway, you get the point; I'm not always the brightest crayon in the pack when it comes to preparedness.

But, in all fairness to me, the other 5 Canadians that arrived with me were as equally unprepared and so within a day of arriving we hit the tourist area of Kathmandu (Thamel) to buy some gear. Turns out that kind of stuff is a huge business in Thamel because of tons of tourists there to trek through the Himalayas. On a side note I'm sure that I am one of only a few people who have been to Nepal more than once and who have never gone trekking. It's too cold, I wouldn't like being dirty and wearing the same clothes for days on end and I'm lazy. I can admit it. So I figure why go for the sake of going, to say that I did, only to be miserable the whole time? And believe me, lots of people do it, such as Mt. Everest Base Camp cuz it sounds cool to have done. Not me. I march to the beat of my own drum! :) And so when the guys in the street trying to sell trekking tours ask me about it, I just tell them, sorry, I'm lazy, and they like that as it's not something they often hear.

Anyway I am soooo far off topic now I don't even know how to get back :) Ok so one of the first things I bought was a blanket; now not just any blanket, but a 100% Yak Wool blanket! The guy in the shop introduced himself as Light, which was different than the many others, he spoke great English, with a sort of British accent, and was quite charismatic. We could joke around with him in hopes of getting a good price. My friend and I each ended up buying blankets from him and chatting for awhile in the process. It was a nice shopping experience, we liked our blankets and thought we did pretty good price wise to boot.

I never saw Light again until my last week in Kathmandu. I ended up walking by his shop one day and there was no forgetting him. Compared to all of the other shopkeepers he simply stood out, and like I said, he had charisma, and character. So we ended up going for tea and having a chat before I left.

Kathmandu had been such an amazing time in part because the group of us Canadian volunteers had become like a family in our home outside the tourist area. The other big part was  my connection to Teo. I had such a hard time leaving after 2.5 months, and I am sure never would have left had I not have booked a South India tour before I had left Canada. So off I went saying goodbye to some of my friends who were staying behind, bawling of course as I left in my taxi to the airport (poor taxi driver).

The first part of the India tour was tough as I was mourning leaving Kathmandu but after connecting with a few of my tour mates it got easier and allowed me to love all that I was seeing and experiencing there. But, I still yearned to go back to Kathmandu and that's exactly what I did when the tour ended.

When I returned I went to see Prakash again and for the next few weeks we hung out a lot, mainly in his shop which of course had the blankets and pashminas. Now that we were friends, Light, who I now referred to by his Nepali name, Prakash (meaning Light) filled me in that the blanket I had bought was not 100% yak wool. In fact all of the shops claiming to have 100% yak wool were all bogus. He showed me a real yak wool blanket and let's just say that I can see why it's not a bestseller. It's really rough and not at all something you'd want to cuddle up with. Instead people like me like the softer than soft blankets which they believe are yak wool, but which aren't. So this yak wool issue became a big joke between us; the fact that he ripped me off. He continues to assure me that I got a good price though, and I still do love that blanket, so really, who cares. Plus I got a friend out of it :)

So then I left again, as I was meeting my best friend Corrine in Cambodia. This time I didn't plan on coming back. But after Cambodia, Vietnam and a little time in Bangkok, Thailand, I was flying to Peru. And wouldn't you know I was going through India, so I thought hey, why not stop over in Nepal given it's just a hop, skip and a jump! So for the third time I landed in Kathmandu and for a few weeks, spent almost all of my days at the prison, with plenty of time hanging out with Prakash as well (who I had surprised this time). It was Prakash who introduced me to the word 'karuna' and its meaning in Nepali, and who helped me design the karuna tattoo which I got in Nepal to symbolize what my time there had been all about, and how I wanted to continue to live my life. He calls me Karuna to this day and I embrace it as my name while in this part of the world.

Since leaving in July 2009 Prakash and I have stayed in contact and become close friends. Two years ago he married Radikha; a wedding which I would have loved to have been apart of had he given me more notice. He is  professor of journalism in college here, and continues to run one of the family pashmina businesses.

Fast forward to March 2012....One of the bonuses of going to India was that I was close enough to swing by Nepal to visit Prakash and Proscovia as well as other old friends. Prakash met me at the airport and placed a beautiful scarf around my neck as a welcome back to Nepal. It was a lovely reunion that I won't forget. He had rode his motorbike there to meet me but with my luggage I was going to need to take a taxi to my hotel. But after Prakash had a brainwave we sent my luggage with the hotel guy while I rode with him. He and I had gone on a couple day trips on his motorbike when I had been there in 2009 and I loved it. So it was so nostalgic and exciting to commemorate my return by riding in to the city on his bike. I was so happy to be back; just seeing all the familiar sights filled me with joy.

Since I've been here I've spent a lot of time catching up with Prakash in the shop. The same 100% yak wool blanket signs are up, as they are in every shop in Thamel. We still talk and laugh about it. I'm sure he won't like that I''m broadcasting the truth about the bogus yak wool blankets to all my peeps, but hey, it's not like any of you are going to start any campaign against the yak wool scheme. Plus, Prakash is still one of the most, kind, compassionate and good people that I know, fake yak wool and all :)

Over the weeks we've had endless chats about all that we've missed talking about in the last 3 years (some things you just can't talk about on Skype) and drank a lot of tea in the process. I've met his wife who is lovely and gone to their home for dinner, which was also lovely. Their home is on the edge of the city and huge as it is a joint family; his two brothers and their families each have a floor, while Prakash, Radikha, his mother and twin sister live on another floor. I got to meet his mother for the first time, as she moved to the city from the village after I left, and got to see his sister and brother again. It was a lovely evening..

 Prakash is a busy guy with teaching and the shop so has little free time. But he wanted to at least take me out of Kathmandu one day, into the countryside, as we had done before. By the time we arranged the day I so needed it after more than 2 weeks in Kathmandu with its pollution and noise. I was finding that my patience was running thin with the horns, spitting, slow walking people, and that I needed to get away, see some green and take in some fresh air!

So today after a rooftop breakfast on a clear morning where we could see the foothills surrounding the city, off we went out of the city and into the beautiful countryside that makes up Nepal. I loved being on a motorbike again, and in particular once we were out of the city when I didn't have to wear a face mask, could smell the eucalyptus and see the green trees and hills. The sights were amazing to see again; the rolling foothills which turned into snow capped mountains as we went farther, beautiful rice terraces carved into the hills, traditional homes scattered all over, women walking along carrying baskets of grass on their backs, villagers herding goats, buses with young people riding on the rooftop as I had done and loved when I was last here....Besides the bumpy ride during which at one point I came down hard and chipped my tooth, it was simply lovely and soooo needed.

After riding close to 40 kms we headed off on a sandy, narrow road which circled around a hill leading to his sister's home. I couldn't help but sing "she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes..." :) Riding out to visit Prakash's sister and her family had been the plan all along as it was a beautiful ride and he could see his sister at the same time. The area had a lot of springs and as a result has a lot of trout farms. Many times along the way I had to get off the bike so Prakash could either manoeuvre the sand or small spring running across the road. It was remote! Finally we arrived, parked the bike at a neighbour's, tromped across their property and over the wheat that they were harvesting, to his sister's home.

Their home is two storeys, made of cement with some reddish mud used as well and with a tin roof. The bedrooms are upstairs which you get to by ladder, and on the main floor is the kitchen, storage room and another for goats. The family has cows, goats and farm wheat, rice, potatoes and mustard as well. They also have fruit in their yard like papaya and lime. Their home is on the edge of a hill full of terraces, trees and is simply beautiful. The upstairs bedrooms have window openings that look out on to this amazing scenery; quite the view to wake up to everyday.

When we arrived, Prakash's sister, brother in law and their adult son were beating the wheat that they had just cut. Prakash's sister would carry the bushels over and the men would beat them over a stone to separate the wheat from the stalks. Wheat was flying everywhere and it was all over the ground. After his sister got us some tasty green papaya, grilled potato and some delicious juice concoction, they went back to work. Prakash's brother in law continued to beat the wheat while his sister picked up the wheat that was laying on the ground and held it up in the wind which blew the husks away. It was a fascinating process really and  during which I couldn't help but think about how different farming is in Canada. Lucky for them they get 3 crops a year versus our one but it's quite a hard life with physical labour being required for pretty much everything they do and eat.

Their son, Suman, who is studying on a full scholarship in Kathmandu to be a structural engineer, gave me a tour of the house and took me on a walk to the spring where they get their drinking water from. I saw the cracks in the rocks from which the water comes from. Suman has actually tested the water in a lab and found it to be pure, pure, pure. After hearing that I felt better about drinking the juice from which it was made!

We sat outside with me enjoying the peaceful scenery, took pictures (mainly of Prakash's young niece and her friend who very much wanted a photo shoot), played with the goats, and I tried to win over the cat who wanted nothing to do with me. Then after a great meal we were on our way. His sister wanted me to stay the night, but I wasn't prepared so told her next time!

After a few hour visit we went on our way, tromping through the neighbour's yard again during which I got another invite to stay. The ride home was even more beautiful I think and I savoured every sight and smell, especially during the many times I had to get off the bike, walk, and even push so we could get back up the road with its sand, rocks, and streams. Despite the beautiful scenery I was reminded again why I'm not interested in trekking :)

By the time we made it back, 10 hours after we had left that morning, we were both exhausted and our butts were killing us. As much as I love being on a bike, it kills the ass, even despite all the padding that I have! Back in Kathmandu we were reunited with the crazy traffic, barrage of horns and pollution. The mask went back on but I didn't care. The day had been exactly what I needed and was truly authentic Nepal and Nepali hospitality. I felt so lucky to have had the experience and am very grateful to a great saathi (friend) for the experience. Having friends in the places you visit is the best feeling and one that as you can tell by now always brings me back. Because really it isn't the place..it's the people. And with friends like Prakash here, I can guarantee that this won't be my last time.